


All I Want

by Spratz



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff to Angst, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Refrenced Drug Use, I’ll add more as I go - Freeform, M/M, On the Run, Past Relationships, Pining, References to Depression, Reunions, Sex, Shared Pining, Slow Burn, Smut, breaking up, ex partners, mostly angst, possibly triggering content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:53:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25424206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spratz/pseuds/Spratz
Summary: Reflecting on one's past is normal, dwelling on things you should’ve done differently, things that had been left unsaid and people who you’ve seemingly lost contact with. In some cases it’s rare that you’ll ever get the chance to rectify the past, given a second chance with the knowledge that nothing lasts forever. This is what Genji Shimada wishes he could do, even now when everything is coming together in his life and he’s found some kind of happiness or it’s just in his grasp. Almost like a lost chip in a china plate, he still feels incomplete; and he knows just what it is that’s missing but knows it’s out of the question. Ruben Sanders continues to be the death of him.
Relationships: Genji Shimada & Tekhartha Zenyatta, Genji Shimada/Original Character(s), Jesse McCree & Original Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

.

.

.

  
The respirator.

It was that sound that let him knew he was still alive after everything, no matter how far he’d drift into his imagination and simply drift; that sound would be his constant.

He was numb, all over his body was numbness; though he was satisfied from it. It was either being unfeeling, or feeling every single centimetre of his body alight with fire. It was agony he’d never even imagined before, before he was in this state of halfway consciousness.

He couldn’t form words or thought as to how much pain he was in before. He couldn’t believe that his body could’ve even formed pain that bad, as long as he kept his eyes closed it would stay this way. He could breath at least, though he couldn’t feel his jaw, his legs, his arm. He gently flexed his fist, feeling his fingertips against his palm; but some of the muscles aches in protest along his wrist and elbow.

Just him, the heart monitor and the soft heart beat in his ear.

He’d caught glimpses of his situation fleetingly, pieces and colours. He thought back to the past for now, seeing as his future appeared to be nothing but a void. He thinks he understands what happened...part of it at least if he focuses on it. But he can’t tell if what he thinks is true is fact, or his mind filling in the holes with lies.

The bright colours of the clubs, the burn of liquor down his throat, women and men. He thought of the streets he’d grown up in, the smell of fresh vegetables in the ramen shop and how the road would be covered in cherry blossom leaves in the spring. He felt like he wouldn’t see it for a very long time.

He’d taken it for granted for the time he’d spent there, he’d taken the beauty of the trees and not cast an eye at them since his childhood. He focused on that thought as he tried to fall back into unconsciousness, the smell, the soft feeling of the petals between his fingers. So gentle you’d have to be with them, or they’d fall apart against your nails. Anything but his reality, the room he was in and what was left of him.

The same flowers he dreamt of had stained red with blood and thick globs of flesh, main hall was drenched in it so badly that it seeped and stained into the tatami mats. He was certain they’d have to get new ones...just imagining the pride on the elders faces when putting them in. Like he was one of them, just thrown away when he became different and displeased them. A memory easily forgotten.

He thought the lack of guards was strange, when he came back to the castle. He’d stopped in his tracks, something deep within him urging him to run as fast as he could. That it wasn’t too late. He’d brushed it off, moving on to the hall where he just wanted to go to sleep after a long night of clubbing.

Then Hanzo, stood there in the centre of the hall waiting for him... with a sword in hand, relaxed by his hip.

He’d stared at him, confused at first until realisation dawned and he knew exactly what was going to happen. He’d begged him to just let him go.

Without a word, without mercy or a break in his expression. That was when he went for him, out of desperation he’d ran inside to the sword on the pedestal to at least have a fighting chance.

But it wasn’t enough, and it would’ve never been enough.

His big brother, his anija, brought him down as he killed him, _ruined_ him.

He was left there, like a doll that had been dropped on the floor, left to be lost and forgotten. Hanzo peered down at him with the eyes of a mindless drone, he’d done his duty well.

He’d killed him, but he lived. He’d seen just how cruel his brother could be, just how willing he was to impress their family. If fate had him live for a reason, then surely it must be simple. He’d hunt him, ruin him as he did to his body. But he’d make sure that absolutely nothing would be left of him to survive.

His memory of Hanamura was drowned red with his brother at the centre of it all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a whole year of casually writing more into this fic, I’ve finally come around for it to be posted properly. As of right now it’s still incomplete since I like to post work that’s complete. But as this is going to be taking a while and this will actually push me to write; I’ll post the chapters I’ve written now. Thank you for everyone’s support!
> 
> My tumblr handle- callmevangogh  
> My twitter handle- spratzy


	2. Chapter 2

_“Before we start, can I ask how well you fight in close quarters?” It felt like a stupid question to ask, but nonetheless important._

_“Depends on how far your willing to go” the cyborg replied, unsheathing the shurikens from his knuckles. Ruben started at them with a wide eyed expression, then back up to his eyes._

_That’s certainly comforting..._

_“Are we good to begin? Genji?”_

_“Ready” He said, getting into a beginning stance. Bending down slightly with his gaze fixed on Ruben. It was a look that was just entirely communicate through his eyes, focused, sharp._

_A death glare more than anything._

_“Van Gogh?”_

_Ruben stepped back because of it, snapping out of his stare. He couldn’t help but hesitate his decision to do this, for the first time in a while; he’d been scared to fight. Or at the very least, unconfident of his ability to do so._

_He looked at the screening room, he strongly ahmed his throat and responded after a few seconds. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?” He got into a similar stance to his opponent, cocking the trigger to his wristbow in one hand and a baton in the other._

_The red light under the screening room would flicker on alongside a countdown from five. What Ode á la Lune had taught him, done to him, we’re to benefit him in combat for what should of been the rest of his life. Not only was he trained in martial arts and had downright mastered it by 19, he had been enhanced._

_Not to the extent that the cyborg in front of him was, obviously. But to his muscles and even his bones to a degree. Stronger, faster, regeneration; elements that could be seen in super soldiers. That’s what Ode á la Lune were famous for, producing agents that were the most effective._

_He didn’t brag._

_...a little._

_He smiled in an attempted air of confidence when the clock struck one, the red light turned on like a recording studio._

_Genji went straight for him first, striking him with the shuriken as he dodged out of the way just in time._

_He was fast, dammit he barely saw him move, Ruben huffed as he skid on the metallic floor. He skipped up instantly, dodging to the side before hitting him in the side as he came for him once more; only for him to slide out the way and give a small cut to his own side instead._

_He continued to throw them as if it didn’t give him any strain whatsoever, Ruben couldn’t actually land any hits seeing as if he stopped on the defensive for a second. He’d be struck down by a fight that had only lasted five seconds._

_It dawned on him how this fight; was woefully unfair, by the time they had hit the thirty second mark. Ruben had barely landed five bows whilst Genji had landed double that number._

_Ruben wasn’t some cyborg, how the hell was he supposed to measure up to this?_

_Unfortunately, pride is his sin. Genji landed a blow to his knee that knocked him off balance. He brought him to the ground and put a foot to his chest, raged eyes staring down at him while the red light turned off._

_His lungs were heavy as he unapologetically heaved through his mouth. A few seconds of simply catching his breath, he looked up to his training partner and tilted his head. The cyborg seemed…bored? No, a different kind of bored; he looked down at him with such indifference and coldness._

_Everything about him just felt cold and hollow, depressingly so. Genji stepped off him unsympathetically._

_“You’re fast- Jesus” he admitted as he pushed some hair back up to his knot when he leaned up._

_“Get up, slouch” he spat as he rolled his shoulders back as he stretched his mechanical arms out._

_Ruben raised his eyebrows and huffed, this kid had sass; it seemed. “Ok ok” he stood back up with a huff and mimicked Genji’s stretches, he seemed unrealistically strong; of course due to the cybernetics._

_He was used to being surrounded by enchanted people, overwatch attracted all kinds from around the world but catered to those who could bench press a full grown bull. However Genji was shorter than him, if that didn’t strike his ego he wasn’t sure what would._

_He looked up to the viewing area, where one Dr Ziegler stood watching closely with a tablet in hand. It was also the first he had noticed that at some point Reyes had come to watch, simply watching with arms crossed over his chest or turning to hear something that was said. He wanted to bring up his concern that the fight had unfair odds compared to his seemingly limited enhancements, but also because alongside impoliteness of his opponent and the inflated sense of self. But of course, he wasn’t paid to make complaints._

_When the red light came on; they fought once more._

_It seemed that Genji recognised the odds between the two of them, the spy could immediately tell that the cyborg had pulled back drastically . Allowing Ruben to land more hits, it had infuriated him._

_He fought just as hard as he did in actual missions, until what shocked him that he was hitting more. Genji’s moves got slightly sluggish; Ruben unbalanced his feet and threw him to the ground where he aimed his wrist bow at him._

_He stood above him as he breathed harshly through his nose, he didn’t want him to hold back. Ruben couldn’t tell how Genji felt it, only that there just seemed to be a permanent scowl set into his eyes._

_“You got slow there” He teased, “Or are you going easy on me?” He stepped back to see the cyborg rise back up almost immediately. Ruben sent a look to Reyes in the viewing booth, where he silently questioned him as to why they didn’t test him against an equal partner. Surely the omnic training bots were operational._

_“Fine then, have it your way”_

_“And what would that be?” Ruben still managed to hold his own, but Genji wasn’t pulling his punches now. His eyes were fiery with contented spitting rage; his shurikens came faster and he could barely dodge them now._

_While Ruben had reloaded his wrist bow still dodging and shooting for his own pride. A bolt had been perfectly blunted and fell to the ground, with the soft flatter of metal against metal, Ruben stopped when he saw the state of his opponent._

_He was hunched, sword still gripped in his hand as he glared at him with a fiery look. He hasn’t noticed the iris of his eyes were red, electric red like a light. Contrasting it a swirling green ran up and down his sword, Ruben worryingly darted a look to Reyes. “Is he ok?” He asked into the comm outfitted in his ear. Mercy had run quickly to the side of one of the scientists at a control station. Reyes had turned back to see what she was doing, raising his voice when a string of their conversation got heated._

_He took a step back and looked back to the cyborg. “Hey...hey you ok? You're scaring me”. He put his hands up slowly, switching the mechanism on his wrist bolt to its sleep dart setting._

_Ruben could feel his hands shaking, his pulse rising more than it already had been, his sweat on his brow. A deafening growl came as with less than a blink of an eye and a flash of green, he was right up against his side with a sword cutting into his cheek. The pain didn’t register in that second, but the force of the impact landed him against the wall that had been feet away._

_He screamed out as he clutched against the wall, Genji shaking while the now slightly bloodied sword was dropped and he looked back in shock. A look of clear recognition in his expression before they closed and he fell to the ground. “Cease test!”. Angela panickingly spoke through the intercom._

_“What the fu-?!” He stopped when he felt his left cheek rip open. He screamed out in pain as he tried to calm the fuck down. Blood ran down his jaw and fell to the floor as he clutched at his hand, trying to stem it._

_“Can you hear me Van? We’re coming” Gabe spoke reassuringly_

_Everything after that was a total mess, his cowl was stained red, the entire side of his face had been smeared with blood while he tried to stop the bleeding before medics came in. He could feel the cut with his tongue from the inside of his cheek. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on anything other than the ringing in his ears and the taste of blood._

_Medics came in with a stretcher while Ziegler’s at some point had also come in and pulled up his cowl to cover his cheek. He felt himself being lifted onto the stretcher, he went to his side, curling in on himself slightly as he ran to the Medway for stitches._

_Debriefings, explanations and hundreds of apologies from Angela while Gabe sat with him, sending cold looks her way. He needed several stitches and a shit load of painkillers which was more than sufficient to knock him out._

_He felt angry at first, of course he did. Genji had come to apologise the day after when he’d left the med bag with half his face covered in bandages. It had struck him to his core just how sorry he was, on the verge of tears himself for whatever reason._

_It broke something in him, that he truly didn’t mean to hurt him and that it had even affected the cyborg more emotionally than it did him. Nevertheless, he forgave him and offered him coffee._

_.o.  
  
_

_“There’s nothing here”_

_Genji fiddled the metal playing on his fingers, looking down with an obvious despair. Ruben didn’t need to more time, reaching his hand out to Genji’s chin where he held his hand against the metal; pulling it up to make eye contact._

_“Then who am I looking at?” he hushed softly, Genji’s breath catching in his throat as he looked up to the man on top of him. His irises shimmered a soft red in the darkness of the room, similar to the effect of flash photography on old photos; red eyes...like pools of water lit under red light. Or a sunset casting the sky in a bloody red, a shepherd's delight._

_He reached a thumb to Genji’s metallic lower lip where he pushed against it. The cyborg tilted his eyes upward, his blush rising as it sunk inside and grazed on the grey carbon fiber teeth. “Cute…” he hushed._

_Genji choked in breath as he breathed in when Ruben closed the gap between them and nuzzled his face against his neck. He withdrew his hand and gently placed it on his neck; grazing it near the scar tissue._

_The spy leaned further into him, he felt Genji’s hand on his back; gently stroking his just above his shoulder blade. “You have no reason to do any of this...” He said, leaning his head against Ruben’s._

_“Should there be?” He asked as he moved back to face him, though the cyborgs hand remained on his back. He moved in suddenly to what Genji needed, he pressed his lips against the metal._

_Ruben placed a hand against Genji’s bare chest and pushed down gently “I need you down here baby”. He didn’t argue, he laid further down the bed until his head was against the mattress; lying down while Ruben placed his hands either side of his head and his legs across his abdomen. Ruben whispered praises into his ear when he kissed the scars along his cheeks._

_It had never come to thought that Ruben could be this soft with anyone, he had an attitude which reflected his own from only a year before. Electric, suave; slick at best. It was like judging a book by its cover, there was so much more to him._

_He grazed his hand along Genji’s eyebrow and to his now exposed, scarred forehead. He hummed in appreciation to the cyborg below him as he made sure that he felt completely and utterly showered in affection._

_He heard a choked sound from his throat; though heavily distorted by his artificial voice. He couldn’t hold back the tears that reached his eyes and fell down his cheeks. Ruben leant back on him a few inches away from his face. “What’s wrong?” He spoke paternally, putting his hands on his cheeks and wiping them away with his thumbs ever so softly._

_“I want you to go I-I’m sorry“ he cried shyly, his hand left Ruben’s back and laid at his side._

_He didn’t know what to do, his mind was at a blank as what could make him stop._

_“Genji…”_

_He didn’t want Ruben to look at him, bear the sight of him anymore than he had to. He was nothing more than disgusting mass of metal and flesh, sewn together into an abomination; he couldn’t even take the sight of himself in the mirror. “I am disgusting…I understand that you’re only doing this because you pity me...or playing a game” he looked to the scar he’d left on his cheek, reaching up hesitantly you stroke it; an unneeded apology; that had already been preceded by countless regrets confessed to him._

_But now, here this man was; loving him in such a tender way that made him feel sick._

_Ruben had stopped to look at him, seeming unsure on what would be best; until he opened his mouth to respond. “I’m sorry but, at first; yes. But now?”_

_Ruben sighed, breaking eye contact before he kissed his forehead gently as he held his head. “I’m not good with words, or...expressing myself, or telling the truth- the list goes on but” he stopped, he clutched at the metal on Genji’s head._

_“God-,y’know…”_

_He kissed his human hand, his arm, collar bone and chest. He didn’t stop anytime soon but the cries stopped, except for the occasional whimper. Time became slower and the hushed words and kisses became like a fantasy._

_Ruben laid on Genji’s side while he gently moved his fingers along the right side of his chest; the skin was...smooth to an extent but tougher or more tender where the scar tissue lay._

_He was gentle against him, his lips brushing over his collarbone as he placed lazy kisses and sucked at it to bruise._

_He reached his hand down to Genji’s robotic one. “I know how you feel, not entirely, obviously but...I want to help” He could feel the artificial nerves from it as the spy’s fingers interlaced his, gripping him. “What happened wasn’t your fault, I can see that you regret it, everyone can._

_“Plus, it kinda helps that you’re pretty hot.”_

_Genji couldn’t tell if he was joking or not._

_“That's... a little slutty” Ruben looked up at him, his lips swollen pink and eyes tired. He gave an innocent smile in return, then going straight back to it._

_“I won't deny it,” the cyborg laid his head back down. He couldn’t be bothered to listen to the answer if he gave one._

_Eventually Ruben got tired of just kissing him, making it obvious he wanted. Genji knew the question was coming and was fully expecting it until now. He sighed with a slip of a moan; “But, so far I’m starting to question if it’s even true. I need you, Genji. Do you understand?”_

_Pure want surged in his chest and his hands moved up to his face; the spy leaned into his touch naturally. He exhaled breathlessly, as if he’d just ran; Ruben’s flirtations sometimes feel like a marathon by just a few words. Leaving him breathless and exhausted, caught up in dust left by him. “Please?”_

_Ruben grinned and bit his lip, moving down the bed until his head was positioned between his thighs, he rubbed his cheek against his inner thigh, the metal being replaced by soft carbon fiber where the fat from his thighs still resided. His eyes wide and comically innocent and looking for some kind of confirmation in his, His cheek just nicked the panelling that covered him, giving a small lick just where his tip was pressing against the metal, his hand moving up his thigh as he awaited his answer patiently._

_Genji had the urge to close his legs, his thighs shaking in anticipation as he put a hand over his mouth and hummed a yes. Ruben got straight to work on removing, hands already knowing which mechanism to press before it came off with an ironically soft hiss._

.o.  
  


_There’s nothing here…_

_Then who am I looking at?…_

He remembered his voice so clearly, every slight crack of the German and Dutch accent; the softness. His touch was electricity against his skin, yet the embrace that came with it was as warm as a bath. 

He gave him his love, his attention and did it without an expectation of it being returned. To him it was all out of pity and it was that reason he tried to make him leave him alone after the accident. But each time he pushed him away, he just kept on coming.

Genji still wasn’t sure why Ruben pursued him for so long, but he hoped it wasn’t for the most insecure reason. He’s not sure what he’d say to him now either, given how their relationship ended.

When he finally did open his eyes, the robotic tint alongside his sigh as he rolled to his side; he couldn’t help but want to stay in for a little longer. A part of him hoped he'd fall back asleep.

Ever since coming back to Overwatch, he had expected to be nostalgic and happy to see all his comrades in one place. Especially with the support his master had given him to pursue it.

Angela and him had shared a hug, Mccree had shared a knowing look and a handshake, Tracer, Reinhardt, Winston, even Torbjorn. He hadn’t known that he’d be so happy to see them all. Though if he were being honest...or foolish, 

He didn’t even think that Ruben wouldn’t be there. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that he wasn’t until he asked Mccree where he was. 

Jesse had grimaced then, looking away before Winston coughed in his throat. “Van Gogh hasn’t responded the Re-Call, neither has a greater majority of agents”.

Genji couldn’t help but feel disappointed by it, but far more surprised and shocked.

He had played the meeting in his head over and over again, his back turned to him as he turned around to face him with a smile, but he knew it wasn’t realistic. 

He’d been dreaming of how they spent their first night together, the day before they’d shared a gruelling hand to hand fight; both learning from each other. Japanese styles and more European styles equally. Until Genji had him pinned down with a hand to the dip in his waist, sweat dripping from their brows, both blushed a deep crimson red. The acidic but ravenous stench of white hot lust, the grip of their hands and warm breath; both brought them immediately to the stalls in the locker room. 

The intelligence officer, on his knees having his throat bulged out from just how long he spent with his nose right up against his pelvis. When he’d come up for air or suck elsewhere his lips were swollen a luscious red with traces of pre…then the dream he spent with him the next day riding him, the soft bounce of the fat on his ass; the curve of his waist as he held it, the filthy dirty talk...

Eventually his alarm clock went off beside his bed, he had meditation with Zenyatta in twenty minutes; alongside breakfast. He reached out his arm and turned it off, his hand remaining on the small machine. He seriously considered smashing it for it being the reason he didn’t reach the part of the dream where they climaxed. Now, he was hard as a rock...he sighed and retreated his hand to deal with himself. But all that came of it was pure defeat and disappointment.

The echo of their climax weighed on his mind, an old memory of pure bliss and a fucked out face, cleaning himself up, he got out drowsily and headed to the bathroom to brush his top row of teeth. Taking a quick shower, drying his cybernetics off carefully and then going about brushing down the hair that was due for a cut soon and applying moisturiser to the exposed skin on his face, arm and half his chest. 

He’d lost his jaw in his fight with Hanzo, it was grim to dwell on but he did have a pretty cool looking set of carbon fibre teeth to show for it. Instead of shining like the rest of the metal, they more or less gleamed with dullness.

When he looked upon his bathroom; coming to the conclusion that everything was as much in order as it could’ve been, he left to the exterior armour parts scattered on the floor and attached them to their respective placements; He was used to the routine long by now. 

Once he’d finished, he put on a pair of sweats and his dark green hoodie and left his room in the minor mess that it was from the night before. Then closing the door behind him with a click as he was faced with the corridor of other doors to private quarters. He didn’t usually wear clothes, seeing as there was no use for them and the exterior cybernetics made up for him. But still, he feels a little naked half a time without them.

It had still been a relatively short while since the Re-Call message, people had been either answering it or requesting to join through contacts or rumours. 

He hadn’t needed to message Zenyatta of his arrival, seeing as it had always been this time when they meditate.

He walked up the steps in a stairwell, passing by a tired Agent Song who’s spent the night streaming; she gave a small wave while Genji walked past her. Best not try to make small talk when you only got one hour of sleep.

When he made it to the fire exit to the roof, he was met with the sound of the sea and the calls of sea gulls on the rocks. On the opposite side of the roof, was sat the omnic monk who’d guided him to this point. 

“Ah, Genji I came early since I was feeling good this morning, it’s such a gorgeous morning is it not?” He said, turning his head to face Genji. He seemed busy admiring the gulls before, the nests they’d built in the rocks more specifically.

To think this used to be, and currently is a semi functional paramilitary international base is almost funny.

“I hope none of the seagulls use us as landing spots” he says, walking over to the edge of the roof as he rolls his neck. Once he was kneeling down, he took a deep breath and admired the view once more before they began.

The cruise liners in the distance, the golden orange of the morning, the sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks below the base and most importantly; the ever present sound of seagulls.

One would think that they’d become an annoyance, something to block out after a while. He had once heard Lúcio describe them as ‘sky rats’, from how they’d come for food just like the scuttling creatures. But Genji hadn’t thought of them that way, he’d enjoyed their calls; reminding him of the holidays he’d take to Okinawa with Hanzo and father. Discovering tide pools and collecting shells along the shore; throwing seaweed at his brother was especially exhilarating before he got pushed into the waves.

Ruben would’ve loved Okinawa...

“It's fine if you can’t focus Genji”

Genji looked down slightly in a quiet admittance the first thing that came to mind was of course; Ruben. He’d probably either chase them away like a child or squark in return, maybe even both. Sometimes he had dreams that lasted with him the entire day, that memory felt like it was stained to him ever since he awoke. Not that it had been a bad thing, only that it still aggravated him that he wasn’t here.

“There... has been, something on my mind” he responded finally after a few seconds of silence. It had always been an issue with him to admit weakness, alongside the rest of the Shimada.

As adrifted, isolated and estranged as Genji could ever be from his family; he is still as stubborn as any of the elders. Perhaps even rivalling his own brother.

“If it’s your brother, you know I’m always here” The monk spoke as he looked to him with sincerity. Even though the omnic didn’t have eyes, a mouth or anything to convey emotion through. It was surprising just how much he could show through just his voice.

He wasn’t entirely sure if he should bring it up. Genji had opened his mouth to say yes, but stopped just before he completed the word. He made a hummed sound in his throat that sounded more like a sigh. It wasn’t like he was keeping it a secret, but it wasn’t as easy to talk about.

Zenyatta had the patience of a saint...he was saintly, full stop. “It is still an issue, but this is something else...” he responded, they’d had talks like this during meditation; it mainly stuck to the subject around his brother and the cybernetics. “Before I left Overwatch, there was someone very dear to me, and always had been ever since.”

It seemed that new problems that presented themselves were in no shortage.

“Was this person a friend to you?” he says, rolling back the metallic joints in his shoulders as he seemingly began to meditate. “I don’t know much of human relationships, but I know enough that they are complicated” he snickered like an old man looking back at his youth. “Though, as always you can seek reassurance with me if it keeps puzzling you”

“Thank you” Genji followed suit, setting the timer by his side for half an hour as he got comfortable and straightened his back and closed his eyes; losing himself into practised meditation.

As time passed; He smelt the salt in the mild sprays of water from the sea, he could hear the gulls and the water that accompanied smells, feel the slight chill of cold from the morning air, _a freckled hand holding his own._

Focus.

His mind drifted away from the present, back to one of the only good memories he had in Blackwatch.

When there was absolutely no one there, Ruben had reached out his four fingered hand to him in every way possible. Making him feel like his old self and reminding him of who he was, a person.

He’d never thanked him for it. 

The night he’d dreamed back to was the most intimate he’d ever been with someone, the rage he had for his own brother had been burning out of control. But when those eyes focused on his, filled with such understanding and care. His rage felt submerged, like being in the back room to a nightclub. The music going softer, muffled to nothing but a hum while the thump of the base echoed their heartbeats.

He peeked an eye open, looking down to the timer to see how much time they had left. Only seeing it had barely been ten minutes...his thoughts went back to when he was younger, he tried meditating but he never got it until now.

It was just trial and error, his father had told him. But he’d long since mastered falling asleep sitting upright; in the end he thinks he did meditate but just in other ways.

“You don’t have to feel obligated to continue” Zenyatta spoke, Genji turned to him sharply; obvious now that he couldn’t focus.

“Thank you master” he stood up more quickly and less politely than he could’ve done and made his way to the exit. He heard the omnic let out an electric whirr, similar to a sigh, he relaxed as his student left. 

“I’ll see you at breakfast”

He made his way down to the mess hall, finding a few agents already there. Reinhardt was sat with a mountain of food, mixed with toast, fruit and a bowl of cereal. Hasselhoff was gently playing on the phone beside him with a small connected speaker. Meanwhile Angela was sat next to him in conversation with tea and some cereal he’d never seen before. 

Genji poured water into the kettle, placing it back onto its holder where he turned it on and waited for it to boil. “Would anyone like some coffee?” He called from the kitchen as he opened the cabinet for mugs and the fridge for milk. 

“That'd be nice” Reinhardt called back. 

“You don’t actually need coffee Genji” The Doctor said, turning to him with a smile; knowing she couldn’t convince him otherwise. 

“But I can have it, right?” He responded, getting a mug for himself and Reinhardt’s which was larger than the rest of them. He picked out two sachets and placed them inside the mugs and went to the pair and sat at the edge of the table. She was right, his body didn’t take coffee in the same way they did. It woke him up in the morning, sure; but it’s mostly that with the cybernetics he’d learnt what foods to be careful with a long time ago.

“Technically yes I suppose” Carbohydrates, anything that had too much fat in it since the fat itself would have nowhere to go in his body but what remained of his limbs. But other than that, the enhancements allowed him to have mostly a nourished quality of life.

He went back once it was boiled and poured the hot water into each one, there being almost none left for himself from Reinhardt’s cup. “Would you like milk with yours, or sugar?” He asked Rein, he turned up from his breakfast.

“No milk, some sugar would be lovely though” he had been pouring the milk into his already and made sure not to put too much into the large man’s cup.

He placed his on the table by the ex crusader, “Oh danke Genji, I think everyone should be here soon though don’t expect Hana and Lucio” he said as he went back to his toast. Angela rolled her eyes with a smile,

“I’m certain I could hear them past three, I have no idea how it’s allowed.” Despite Hana being a full time agent with the for now, secret recalled overwatch; she still had a career in live-streaming to uphold. He’d joined her many times in her room ever since recall began; sitting by while he watched her play. Instead of homework assigned by his tutor while he was still with the clan, he’d just go straight to watching live-streams or playing games. 

“How’s the new plating?” Angela asked, since he returned to Overwatch she told him how damaged most of his systems went since he went years without checking in. Some had been grinded down, in the process of loosening or just unfunctional.

“A little stiff; but I‘ll get used to it and it’s almost no bother; thank you”

“I can always make adjustments if you’d like” she said with a smile, though it was more of a smirk when he actually looked at her. She said it with fondness that caused him to notice, it hadn’t been the first time either. Angela had always been kind with him, alongside a patience few had; but now that they had a routine now and the shock of being back in Overwatch had passed; life continued as if time had never passed to begin with.

“Maybe” he said, looking away from her gaze as the sound of hissing steam and bubbling came from the kettle.

Genji turned, feeling his shoulders tense with something he couldn’t trace as he walked back to the kitchen more hastily than he should’ve. He chose to just wait for the water to boil instead of small talk, he stretched his back out and just as the kettle clicked, keenly picking it up from its stand poured the water in. Watching the teabag rise and the clear water turning a dark brown, bringing careful attention to over pouring it a little to compensate for the tea when he takes the bag out. 

Once the milk was while excluding Reinhardt, he took his time stirring the sugar in, before picking up the cups with his fingers; carefully walking and placing them down. He had to use both hands to bring Rein’s drink, his fingers couldn’t even wrap around it. He placed it down, shaking his hands out to stem the heat off from the boiling water. Conversation with Reinhardt went on until more agents joined the table, when it came to breakfast a schedule had taken place. Through the whole week they routined and took turns preparing food, the recall was a team effort which everyone had to contribute to. After all barely twenty people had come to Winston’s answer.

Genji had found it hard to stomach Lucio, Brigitte and Torb had prepared, not that he couldn’t or that he felt ill; just that the appetite wasn’t there. Jesse had sat next to him, oblivious while gulping down coffee and rations while also holding conversations with Lucio and a very late and drozed Hana.. 

Mccree seemed to get back into the groove of things well, compared to others. Hana teased him for the cowboy get up but so did everyone at one point. He spent far more time with Blackwatch than he did, so he supposed that it was natural for him at this rate. 

Though as he looked upon his teammates now, the mild annoyance at the back of his throat remained since the morning. 

He should be here…

It was entirely his choice, but he had no idea if the silence was due to the worst case scenario or not. He’d never known Overwatch without him, it was uncomfortable at worst.

All ex Overwatch agents had been given a comm, all of which were kept on them for whatever reason; even after communications were cut. But now that the Re Call had been activated and he received Winston’s message. He saw the main channels went back online, he checked Van Gogh’s status first when he saw his name highlighted.

Though when he pressed on it, it showed something he probably should’ve expected. Nothing.

When he would get the chance, he wanted to talk to Winston about it. If the Overwatch database was still intact, which he supposed it was. Asking if he was at the very least, alive and well; should help him figure out how to go forward.

He felt a nudge at his side, he looked up to see Mccree looking down at him. Genji straightened his back out, sighing with relief; “You ok?” He asked quietly as to not possibly embarrass him. 

“Yeah, just tired” he smiled, though the rest of his expression betrayed him. Mccree gave him a sincere look with a raised eyebrow before speaking a little lower.

“You sure about that?” 

He’ll call Winston for an appointment or something, he wanted to know at the very least if he was alive. For now, he just swallowed down the toast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How you like them apples? Writing smut for me is kinda new and I’ve never actually posted any of it lol
> 
> My tumblr handle is - callmevangogh  
> My twitter handle is - spratzy


	3. Chapter 3

_Genji awoke to the warmth and pressure of Ruben’s body being replaced with an empty space, he shuddered his eyes open to find him getting off the bed as gently as he could. He closed his eyes once more, shuffling slightly and sighing through his nose as he woke up._

_He hoped Ruben would be quick, but as high maintenance as he seemed to be; unlikely. He stretched out his jaw and licked what remained of his lips as he tried to fall back asleep._

_The sound of a tap sounded which further disturbed Genji, he opened his eyes once more with lucidness and waited for him instead. A small smile reached his lips when he heard the sound of his voice echoed by the bathroom._

_“Und so singen...wir die ganze nacht…” he didn’t understand what it was he was saying, but hearing him, no matter in what way; reminded him that he was alive. “Unsere lieblingslieder…”_

_He felt alive._

_He heard footsteps in the bathroom, then emerged a bare chested man with a hand against his mouth in a wide yawn. Genji couldn’t help but turn to admire him a little more than he already had._

_His top knot was undone, leaving slightly natural curly hair to fall down his face. His figure might as well of been sculpted by ancient greeks; back, pectorals, abs, waist, ass...mostly his ass._

_He had turned and walked to his desk, still thinking Genji had been asleep. His steps were quiet with years of practise, trying to avoid the clothes scattered on the floor. He bent over his desk chair to turn on his holovid by pressing a button on a rectangular box, it displayed the Blackwatch symbol._

_He wanted him back in bed, he didn’t want to wait._

_“Can you do that later?” Genji asked, turning onto his back to better face him. Ruben turned his head, seeming a little surprised at first before he turned back to the hologram_

_“I won’t be a minute,” he responded._

_Genji sighed, looking to the ceiling while he impatiently waited more than he wanted._

_A minute had passed, and Ruben still wasn’t in bed._

_He turned back to him; reading through some boring report. “It’s been a minute”._

_“Honestly- one more minute I just need-…Gabriel wanted me to look through it as soon as possible” He didn’t finish as he scrolled more quickly through the stupid report._

_“And this wasn’t possible yesterday”_

_“Nope”_

_Ruben had been promoted months ago to Head of Recon, which wasn’t as prestigious but it meant that he was in charge of managing and directing recon and intelligence missions. He said that Reyes thought it would be better if Ruben handled the spying side of things so he could focus elsewhere. He was effectively in charge of half the work Gerad did before he died. Which meant he didn’t go out as much anymore._

_A higher salary didn’t always equal happiness, he always tried to be there for as many missions as possible. He just didn’t do it alone anymore and got to tell at least five people what to do._

_But shockingly enough, another excruciating minute passed._

_Genji pulled the duvet off himself and got up, he walked behind Ruben and with a yelp “Genji?”. He hoisted him up by his waist and grudged back to the dutchman's bed where he dropped him. His laughs could be heard from outside their dorm._

_The bed creaked beneath him as Genji crawled on top of him, his face dug into the side of his neck. Ruben calmed as it turned into light hums of appreciation, still smiling. “Don’t be so crotchety, I was almost done” he pulled the duvet over them, both warm in each other’s company._

_“You’re not my mum”_

_“Then, I’ll be your daddy” The cyborg snorted, tilting his head up to look at him puzzlingly._

_“We both know you’re at least a power bottom”_

_“I thought I was a switch, I can do both” Sure you can._

_When it came to their dynamic, from the outside Ruben was a protective presence to Genji. But if the cyborg just said a few words and held him tightly enough he’d collapse into a mess. It was interesting how on missions he was as collectively charming, nonchalant and enticing; seemingly put together with laser like focus to his goal; two entirely different people he’d fallen for._

_“I enjoy doing it both ways, if it’s something you want then yeah” Ruben hummed in response, running his fingers through what remained of Genji’s hair. Obviously becoming more infatuated with playing with it. They stayed there for a moment, after spending so much time in their bed they didn’t want to leave it just yet. Genji’s heart lifted when he held him, like a shadow was cast out into void everytime they kissed. Corny, though true._

_“Speaking of dads” he said, “Mine was kind to me, patient..though firm or…” he trailed off into a mumble when the spy continued and soothingly moved his fingers down to his scalp. “Mostly a dick but still” He closed his eyes and sighed soothingly; even though he possessed only nine fingers it still began drifting him off. Parts of his head he already covered becoming numb when he came back around, his thumbs digging gently rhythmically._

_Ruben closed his eyes in thought as he held his lips against his forehead; coming to a stop though his hands stayed where they were. “I don’t remember my dad, or my mum”. he spoke slowly._

_”What do you mean?” he whispered as he closed his eyes, sighing through his nose._

_Ruben stiffened._

_“I lost track of them during the crisis, I was seven when it happened” Genji tilted his head up to look at him, Ruben seemed spaced out or just..lonely. He never thought Ruben would get lonely._

_“Do you know if they’re well?”_

_Ruben seemed to think about it for a few seconds, until he sighed “I’m not sure, but I think my dad was killed”._

_“My mother died when I was young, then my father a few years ago...I only saw it on tv, I’m sorry you went through that”_

_Ruben didn’t respond for a second, Genji heard his breath hitch in his throat. He looked up to see Ruben’s eyes shine and his eyes reddened. “Ah shit…” he mumbled to himself as he used his free hand to wipe his eyes._

_Genji put his hand onto his chest and held him, he thought back to the vague memories of seeing the wreckage of cities on the screen while he sat with his brother._

_They were far enough away from Tokyo and other cities to not be affected; but it was nevertheless terrifying. But of course, he could turn off the holovid and forget about it. But Ruben couldn’t. “I want you to know you can tell me any-”_

_“No” He interrupted, Genji stopped in his tracks. There was a slight frustration tone to his voice, like he was put off. Ruben had never snapped at him like that, they hadn’t even fought or disagreed with anything._

_“I’m sorry” the cyborg muttered, moving down to lay at his side, his head laying on Ruben’s chest. “It wasn’t my place” he put a hand over his chest, his thumb moving circles into the scar that trailed under his pectoral; affectionately testing the waters before he reciprocated him._

_“Later maybe” Ruben put a hand over Genji’s, squeezing reassuringly at the metal._

.o.

Later that day, Genji had found Winston at his lab; speaking with Torbjorn. He looked at the layout, he hadn’t been here since he arrived at Gibraltar; though he remembered it being cluttered.

The mess seemed more organised now however, agents coming in and out to deliver equipment or components. He looked to the large map of the earth that took up an entire wall, glowing bright orange as different things were popping up all over it. 

Alongside another one near it but as a holographic globe. He knew Ruben had gone to Amsterdam when he got sick, he had said that it’s where it lived originally and that he’d always wanted to return. But now that it has been five years since he last heard from him, it was unlikely he was still there.

Especially since the last time he heard about him was that he was on the news as a fugitive and had a bounty two million. 

He jogged up the stairs along the side of the wall and overheard their conversation.

“Friday at best, repairs on the Tesla Cannon are only half way done” the engineer retorted, leaning against the scientists desk.

“We have a mission in three days, can you get it done in two at least?” Winston responded, eyes focused on the computer in front of him; Genji couldn’t see what it was over his hulked form. 

“Rushing me will only make it easier for me to miss something, don’t want it to malfunction mid fight. The sides; heavy equipment requires not only my patience, but yours” Torb saw him enter the room and gave him a modest wave. 

No one could argue with the engineer, he was the head of engineering when Overwatch was in its prime. He may have equipment for months but it’ll be better than it was before, guaranteed.

“Suppose I’ll take my leave” he leaned away from the desk and headed for the exit, passing him. “But my word is final, Winston.” He called back, Winston groaned in frustration...though it sounded more like a low growl. 

“When I have time, Mercy suggested I look at your components seeing as I’m more of an expert on the subject” Genji nodded,

“Of course, when?”

“Sometime next week, give or take” he stated, walking until he was out of sight down the stairs. 

Winston had turned his head to see him at some point, “Ah; Genji, afternoon” he turned around on the tire head sat on to face him. 

He walked to the same spot Torb had been leaning on before, at Winston’s right side. “Sorry about that, 

Genji thought on what to say for a second before he began, “You have all Overwatch agents on database, right? Old and new?” It was a stupid question, but he was leading onto the point.

Winston raised an eyebrow at him, his eyes darting to his computer then back to the cyborg “Yes?”.

Genji composed himself, thinking on exactly how to phrase what he wanted without sounding desperate. It wasn’t that he was, just wanting.

“Ok, so something has been on my mind ever since everyone got back together and it’s really been bugging me…It’s about Agent Van Gogh, I wanted to know if you knew anything...literally anything at all. I don’t mean to use up your time or resources but I just want to know if he’s well, at least” he asked, he was fiddling with the metal plating on his hands our of nervous habit. Winston gave him a sympathetic look, or a knowing one. 

Their relationship hadn’t been a secret, but it wasn’t well known to Overwatch or most of Blackwatch; most who actually heard it thought it was just a rumour. Since no one would imagine Genji being in a relationship, as well as Ruben not having just one night stands.

Winston exited out of the program he was on, then opening a file with Ruben’s old portrait on it and clicking something else that showed notes or other such things. “I had looked into it, since I think it would be a waste for someone of his abilities not to come back. But from I can tell his communicator is damaged and I couldn’t get any messages through, but”

“I know where he was recently”.

Hope sparked in his chest as he perked up, “Where?”

“He was last seen on a train leaving Innbruck, Austria. It says in the police report that he’d been held in custody but escaped, resulting in the death of two local policemen.”

Genji shook his head, no. He wouldn’t do that, would he? It had been a long time since they last spoke,he could only make wild guesses as to what his affiliations were now“He killed them?”

“It’s assumed so...though they were killed with weapons that Van Gogh wasn’t known for using.”

“Does he know about the recall?”

“I can’t be sure, though I could assure you in looking into it some more. I know-I know that you two were close?” The gorilla sounded nervous over it, Genji chuckled and smiled reassuringly

“Yes, Winston…” it was understandable that Winston couldn’t exactly relate to any other gorillas...wait why was he thinking about this? 

“Good! I’m certain everyone would be happy to have him here, though I feel that if the time came theeen... it wouldn’t be best to invite him back here outright, if you understand” he spoke a little more hesitantly, knowing that Genji would disagree. Before Genji could respond Winston continued, “Not to disrespect, at all I mean. I just-I...we need to know the context of his situation”.

He nodded, as much as he wanted Ruben to be on their side and join the recall; it was likely that his affiliations belonged elsewhere now. Or that he simply wanted nothing to do with Overwatch in general. He wanted to believe that everyone he used to be allies with had the same intentions and views as him. But knowing that most of blackwatch had merged and become criminals or terrorists. Reyes specifically being the perfect example of that, who knows what Ruben was up to. 

He hoped he was safe, or out of the way of any danger.

.o.

Whatever anonymous force dictated future events hadn't been benevolent in the past few months. Money for motels and food to just get by had all but all dried up, leaving him with less than thirty euros to cover everything, the clothes on his back, a few weapons, and a head full of nightmares.

At the beginning of all this, his private savings account which had at least over seven thousand euros or more; had somehow been frozen. Even when he had a double encryption installed on it, he still couldn’t draw any money from it no matter what he tried.

His biggest problem for the past months that was bigger than anything was his diet. The enchantments in his body required a steady three meals a day, but now that it had been reduced to only one and a half; his muscles consumed most of it and it left nothing for anything else.

When nights were too cold he would go into homeless shelters, though it was usually crowded. He’d have a meal, collapse onto a bunk bed with his belongings close to him and be back on the move by the morning. Right now, he didn’t want to. He slept in the same clothes he wore outside, he didn’t want to be reminded of what had happened to his body. 

Ruben took a deep breath out, he’d managed to scrounge up some cash after two months of being held up in Innsbruck after a very prolonged attempt at getting clean, trying to solve his drug addiction. He’d spent all of the rest of his money for ibuprofen to deal with the pain, leaving him with even less.

He slept in a street corner covered in graffiti, a stark contrast to a few years before when he would be amongst some of the most powerful people in the world; just that the wine had been replaced with half empty water bottles that tasted like chlorine.

Now, he was on a hyperspeed train and secured a ticket and a seat to get across the border and into Italy. Nowadays trains went at the speed of sound across an entire country in a few hours if you had the money. Ruben could only afford the standard class which had been crowded. 

Talon had been relentless, tracking him down at every corner of Western Europe. Searching for him like hounds on a hunt for foxes. To think that Ruben was the one of the people who spent hours at night searching for evidence against them when he worked in Blackwatch. As corny as he thought it would sound, it seemed that the hunters had become the hunted.

As day turned to night, Ruben let himself relax on the train, eating the free biscuits to the side of him and savouring every bite; the chocolate was too strong for his starved taste buds to handle. He managed to let his guard down, huddling close into himself with a thick coat as comfort. He held the ticket firmly in his pocket, the other feeling the old wristbow on his arm under his sleeve. The only connection to his past, his identity. He held the cowl over his nose as a form of solace, it was just a rag by now but it nevertheless relaxed him like nothing else could.

He stared outside the window in a daze. Watching the cloudy skies turn to afternoon, the countryside flying by them so fast he couldn’t hold a glimpse on anything small. 

Later on, around nine. He could feel Capheus’s presence was sitting next to him like a window left open, a cool wind coming in.. The spirit appeared to him visually at least once a week. Twice a week if something interesting happened or if he simply felt like it. But it wasn’t that he wasn’t there, he was always present, in some form that was conscious or not.

The trains crowds had gone out after a while, very gradually. Leaving maybe ten passengers in his carriage alone. But that meant that the tv on the ceiling could now be heard clearly, it was just the normal Austrian news broadcast that he hadn’t been listening too until the moment he heard his name mentioned.

He sluggishly moved his head to the screen, the programme had switched something else. Something that had an old headshot of himself on the screen, god he looked so much better than he used to; even after the cancer. It was a picture of himself when he lived in Amsterdam after he left Blackwatch.

‘We apologise to interrupt this broadcast, but we have confirmed reports that a highly dangerous fugitive has been sighted in this area. Please be on the lookout for this man. He was last seen in Innsbruck at seven this morning. If spotted, please do not hesitate to contact your local authorities-‘

Ruben stared at the screen for a moment, wide eyed in disbelief...every precaution he’d taken rendered pointless. Paranoia engulfed his thoughts like a wave, he leaned up straighter as the train began to quickly slow down to a stop. He looked out the window to see the station landing and a few armed police a few carriages away boarding with haste.

He looked to his side, Capheus still there saying; “It’s freezing outside, we can’t-“

“Since when did the cold ever matter to you?” He hissed quietly, enough that it would sound like a shout.

“It matters to me if you get hypothermia and collapse out there”. He retorted, Ruben looked forward...he had to leave but he really wasn’t keen on what was about to ensue. The entity placed a hand over Ruben’s knee; feigned attempt at comfort. “We can fight our way out of this”

He stood up from his chair, his knees clicking as they adjusted to being on the move again. “I don’t have the strength, c’mon” He picked up his bag from the floor and hoisted the heavy supplies over his shoulders as he began to walk down the aisle. 

Just as he was about to go through the next carriage towards the exit, he saw two policemen walking into the carriage. Ruben had thought this train would be safe and he was in the clear, he’d already spent so long out of the laws sight so why is it now he’s been caught?

Facial recognition was always an option, alongside just being reported by one of the passengers. He should’ve taken into account that he was too scruffy to not strike immediate suspicion.

He turned and walked the other way calmly but steadfastly, catching the eyes of other passengers. He needed to stay calm, hide in the bathroom until they left. He wanted to avoid having to get off the train, he’d be stranded with miles and miles of road to cover.

He went through multiple carriages to gain ground, eventually making it towards the bathroom compartments, opposite to another line of smaller windows compared to those on the passenger seating. 

He looked back behind him, they were still far off but it didn't matter as on the other side of him were more police. But now they were speed walking down the aisle, knowing just where the fugitive is.

Then a soft shake echoed through the entire train, meaning the hover engines were turning back on.

He went to the bathroom, grabbing the handle only to find it locked; his hands shook with panic as he tried at least three more only to find them all automatically locked; he turned back around towards the windows opposite.

He looked back the police on the left, they had their guns out now as they shouted at him. He fished for the emergency hammer by the side of the window as quickly as he could. When he got it out, adjusting his hand on the grip. He swung at the hardened glass as hard as he could.

It didn't break the first time, but caused a small crack in the strong glass. They’d entered the compartment and ran for him to get him on the ground, but he couldn’t hear them over the sound of the hyperspeed train hum as it slowly hovered up on the tracks.

The glass unexpectedly cracked and smashed all over the aisle floor, he threw the hammer at the closest officer with a shout in response. He threw himself out of the broken window, broken glass tearing into his hands and abdomen. “Get down!” One of them shouted, grabbing onto his ankle easily wrapping their hands around it as more joined.

He flayed the hands off his legs with all his might, his force of will kicking someone behind him in the face. He lost his grip on the bloodied glass and he slipped out of the window.

He fell two times his own height to the muddy, dirty and hard ground below him. His world going black when he made an impact with the hard ground head first. 

.o.

He wasn’t sure how long he was unconscious for, only that by the time he awoke. He found himself with the worst headache he’d ever had and his hands tied behind his back in zip ties. He groaned as he opened his eyes to see the roof of a car. He was lying down on his back with his knees bent to accommodate the small amount of room.

“At least you're not dead”, Capheus spoke, appearing in the front passenger side of the car. His arms crossed over his chest in a neat fashion, something that contradicted his appearance.

He looked outside as much as he could, seeing trees and the red and blue flashing lights of a second police car outside. He tried to calm his panicked breathing as he forced his torso up, his severe head pain greeting him. He leaned up from his seat, adjusting himself to sit down on the seat. 

He winced from the pain that radiated his body, hulking over as his ears rang and his skull throbbed. His palms had been bandages poorly, blood stained and mismanaged; each time he even moved his hands, there was stinging, biting pain.

He scooted to the side, maneuvering his hands to the car handle. He tugged at it but to no avail, they’d be stupid not to lock it.

He looked back to Capheus, the cause of all his problems and the reason he was running in the first place. “Can you try and undo these somehow?”.

“Possibly” Capheus phased through the car seat effortlessly and to the back seat, where he proceeded to try and get it open. With all the force he had to try and pull it, he couldn’t. 

Ruben began to think hard, trying to remember back to what he’d learnt in training while he was still new in Blackwatch. He remembered Reyes zip tying himself, each step he went through that resulted in him snapping them off effortlessly. Then again as a super soldier how were plastic zip ties supposed to hold him. He stretched out his arms in front of him, bent forward and tightened the zip ties as far as they would go with his teeth; keeping an eye on the locking mechanism between his tied wrists.

He then lifted his hands above his head, an ache in his left shoulder blade. He quickly pulled them down hard into his stomach, not so that he hit himself. Then with a quick snap, the plastic broke in two; freeing his hands. He looked down at his hands again and slightly flexed them…they wouldn’t stop shaking.

He’d need to find scissors after all of this. He turned towards the car door, facing away from the other police cars and to the dark forest. It seemed there was just on the side of a highway, “I need you to get this door open.” 

Capheus phased through his body for the door, causing him to shiver uncontrollably. He backed away quickly, feeling uncomfortable from it. “Sorry, I forgot how people react to it” Ruben didn’t know whether what he said was poor sarcasm or the actual truth.

A loud click was heard in the door and Capheus disappeared out of thin air, as usual. The door frame swung open with gravity as the road the car was on was at an angle. 

It consumes a lot of energy for Capheus to interact with the physical world. Since he’s not entirely apart of it himself. Simply appearing with the humanoid form that he does takes energy, which is why he only presents himself when he can put in the effort.

But it’s also because Capheus gains energy through him, he didn’t understand ghosts or energies as he put it. But a small portion of his ‘life force’ is siphoned to him, to sustain and feed his power. Occasionally when they found themselves in a bad situation he’d consume more and for a short time, control his body. He hated it as much as it sounded, but in the end he wouldn’t of gotten this far without him.

Ruben silently stepped out of the car, crouching down when he got onto the damp slippery road. It looked like it might be raining soon, he hadn’t noticed how quickly the afternoon turned into night. He looked up to see the sky a beautiful dark blue, mixed in with an inky black. He could see the mountains just above the tree line.

He needed to get his supplies back, he had no idea where they could’ve put his bag. He darted his head back to the trunk of the car; he doesn’t know where else it could be.

He tried closing the door behind him, discouraged. Only to find the locking mechanism in the door was completely busted. It seemed that Capheus had just broken the locking mechanism altogether...to be fair he didn’t ask for it to be unlocked, just opened...it wasn’t his cat but he held sympathy for the lock. He left it open, seeing as how it wouldn’t stay closed.

He peered around the corner of the police car, still crouched down he put a hand against the car to balance himself. He’d need to find a first aid kit there as well hopefully, or use what he had in his bag.

He saw two police officers, the ones that were on the train with him. They stood with their backs turned to him, a few feet away. 

He went to open the unlocked lid of the boot. Being careful so as to hold the lid so it didn’t go all the way up, he looked down into the dark space catching sight of his still full bag. He grabbed it quickly, weighing it on his wrist and slowly closing it with a click.

A raindrop landed on his hand, running down to the back of his hand and to his palm. He quickly put the heavy bag on his back, trying to avoid contact with his palms while looking back to the men who were talking.

“He’s definitely got a concussion, but other than that he’s fine.” One of the police officers who chased him spoke...in German instead of Italian as he’d hoped, so that meant he wasn’t over the border which was worse. The other officer spoke, 

“If he isn’t, then how do we know we’ll get paid as much”

Ruben had heard enough, he went backwards slowly still crouched; grabbing the strap to his bag to stop it from falling at the awkward angle. Until he got to the edge of the road and stepped into the mud with a loud squelch. 

One of the men’s heads darted into his direction, whilst one of them opened the now empty passenger seat. But before he could even begin to investigate or say anything at all, a bullet went through his head, Splattering blood and thicker residue onto the roof of the car. The other following seconds after.

What emerged was a figure with an all too familiar symbol on their shoulders, lowering a gun and walking into the headlights of the car.

A low, distorted voice came from the helmeted man, “This is why I hate working in smaller places, the police are not used to things other than shoplifting or neighbourhood squabbles.” He spoke English with a American accent behind it. 

The other mercenary turned around speaking into what he assumed was his comm. He watched this all happen from the mud, as still as a deer in headlights. He couldn’t help but not look at the gore on the car, it was grotesquely just falling to the mud below.

Ruben turned and made a break for it, running in the dirt and mud. Pushing branches away from his face, dead leaves crunching in the way and adrenaline pumping in his veins. Even though he was dulled to the sight of death, he really couldn’t handle it to that point. Pointless death, the policemen had just been following orders and doing their jobs; but they didn’t have to die for it.

He ran as if he was on fire, terrified of the thought that his brains would also be shot from his skull if he slowed down. After seconds of sprinting, his lungs were on fire from how weakened they were. He stopped and haggedly breathed, leaning against a tree with one hand as he was doubled over and went into a coughing fit. His cybernetic lung unable to catch up to what he needed. His eyes stared at the ground widely as he tried breathing evenly, fear sweeping over him. It became pitch black quickly, the moon his only guide. More paranoia and fear set in him, fear of the unknown and the forest around him.

He almost puked in pure dread when he saw the bright lights flash behind him. The sounds of dogs barking and people stomping their way through the dead leaves. “Oh for godsake” he panicked; running in the opposite direction. 

He jumped over a log that stood in his path, his feet skidding in the wet ground; he could barely hold a grip on the sludge, he was sure to fall.

He could hear the barking getting louder, since when did Talon have dogs?! That’s when he heard something fast; whizzing straight past his head and into the branch next to him, splintering it into hundreds of pieces.

He shouted in shock and tripped up on a root, falling with a fast pace down a hill with wet, slushy turns; each slam of his weak body against the thorny bushes rendering him breathless.

The situation may as well of been a nightmare, Capheus could do nothing to slow his fall; which would be useless now that he’d collided into a river. His head was spinning as he tried to fight against the current; desperately gasping for air with deep throaty coughs. He scrambled for footing on the rocks and fell with the moving water, swallowing dirty water into his mouth as he rose to the surface. It rushed into his clothes and drenched him top to bottom; making him so much heavier. 

His lungs couldn’t take this stress, he only had one organic one and even with a cybernetic as it’s twin; he struggled.

He pushed through the throb of his forehead, burgrugding through the waist deep, pitch black water. He hoisted himself up over the bank through his own pure selfish will to survive, mud obscuring his sight and his movements. He was paralysed with exhaustion against it, his fingernails digging into the ground. 

He took deep breaths, his mind unaware of what was happening around him; he spat out excess water in his mouth with pained gasped. He was rendered blind from the mud; he dipped his hand in the water quickly and threw it on his grimy face; smaller, harder bits of dirt getting stuck in his stubble. He opened his crazed eyes, trying to hoist himself back up with little to no avail; he was too heavy, too tired. 

He darted his eyes left up the ten foot hill to lights, but they were instead going along the river bank above him. He stayed still as he stared fearfully, hoping he was camouflaged enough.

He sighed in relief, relaxing his muscles as his head fell back down in silent victory. “Ok...ok” he hushed to himself. His vision dazed to the night sky above, his breathing fast but even.

He heard squelching next to him, his victory was suspended as he lifted himself up with what was left of his strength; reaching for the gun at his hip.

He was fully decked out in black, he could make out glowing red around his legs just about alongside the fairest amount of white on his face. “I was hoping it wasn’t you”.

Ruben lowered his aim, his head swimming with the knowledge he learnt a few months ago. 

“Well, sometimes we don’t get what we wish for; Gabriel.” The sound of his name was hissed out; like a spit on the ground. The reaper reached down at his collar, lifting him up with enhanced ease. It still surprised Ruben that this man was once a super soldier, or still is.

He looked to the ground, stumbling in the uneven mud; away from his old commander. He felt at his clawed hand reach to his face where he flinched and reached up to grab said hand, only for it to be smacked away as the mud was wiped from his face by his old commander.

Such an affectionate thing...it just confused him even more than he already was.

Ruben stared into the black sockets of his owl mask, as if there was nothing behind them; just an empty space, an essence of what was. He’d seen it for himself how he could just become...mist? smoke? Maybe that’s all he was underneath, just smoke.

“I wish I’d known sooner what had happened in Iceland...” he moved his hand from his face and placed it on his shoulder. He could see him clearly under the soft gaze of red on his armour, he should’ve been afraid of anxious at their next meeting. But all he could feel from him was understanding and trust. “It was my fault I let it happen”.

“You didn’t…but- why help me?” He croaked angrily, staggering as he shifted his position away from his hands. He spat onto the ground what remained of the water in his mouth.”I thought- I thought you wanted us all dead...I-I don’t understand this-you”

“Does it matter right now?”

Ruben took a heavy step away from him, silently moving past him with tension as thick as concrete. His eyes were trained on him, he wanted to say something; but with the rest of Talon quickly approaching. How could he afford to say anything.

He wouldn’t question him.

He tried walking fast, his knee ached something fierce so it came with a slight limp. He could still feel Reyes’s hand on his shoulder, it’d play back in his head for hours at this rate. He didn’t need to wipe the mud from his face but he did, he didn’t know whether to be disgusted or at least glad. He could hear the sound of rushing cars in the distance, just a little more then we can start making some ground. 

If he wasn’t exhausted, wounded or halfway dying from the withdrawal; he’d turn back and take every single one of those mercenaries on. At least, it’s what he would’ve done back then, half of why he was literally dying was his own fault. In fact, most of this mess was his own doing and it’s only now over the course of a decade that’s he’s been forced to stick his head in the mud and deal with it.

He made it to a motorway eventually, making it to the side of it where the hard concrete was a blessing. A few hover cars passing in the darkness; headlights glaring. He looked down the vast long stretch of road, trying to look out for any luminescent road signs. 

One showed the universal bed symbol on the side of the name of a place he didn’t know in another language; however seeing it was only two miles away was thankfully shorter than most treks.

What Gabe had said, ‘does it matter’ he mulled over it in his head; trying to reason it. What did he mean, did it even matter like he said? If memory serves there wasn’t any reason he’d want him dead, the mission to Iceland had served not only as the mark his whole life changed, but as a wake up call to change his perspective on Overwatch.

If it weren’t for Iceland, he would’ve followed Gabe until the very end, most likely to his death or life in a maximum security prison. Or would he have seen the truth for himself early on and left with McCree. In the end he’d been discharged from Blackwatch and almost forcibly sent to receive chemotherapy at a hospital in Amsterdam. 

He began to walk, he day dreamed of the warm shower that’d be waiting for him, or maybe even a bath; alongside a warm bed and maybe some food somewhere. It was hard not to drift off while stil walking, thinking of the orange glow of the lamp mixed with the embrace of the pillow on his cheek.

Or having a specific robotic hand laying in the curve of his waist that connected to his hips, not quite over the curve but enough. How he wasn’t comfortable with asking for affection, but when he did it was more exciting than any mission he’d been sent on. Or the feeling in Ruben’s chest that would rise when he’d get a text from him, or looked at him, or just thought about him. He couldn’t describe it at all in a way that wouldn’t be selfish. It was electricity, bright and burning in his very soul; something he had never felt before. But at the same time it was warm, comforting like a blanket he’d wrap himself in. All those feelings linked back to him...

He blinked, realising his fantasies were slipping as he internally slapped himself. He thought he had stopped dwelling on it, seeing as they’d been separated for over five years at this rate; in that time he had another relationship...but of course it was nothing compared to him.

Almost all of his relationships have been purely physical, friends with benefits or one night stands that. There was always something to be gained and nothing had ever been lost, occasionally he’d feel something; and he did with the man before Genji which had ended only a little less worse than him.

Maybe love just wasn’t for him seeing as they all either ended in disaster or in apocalypse.


	4. Chapter 4

_Ruben had managed to convince Genji to go on a date with him. It had taken weeks of suggesting lightly, then talking about it, until it became the only thing he talked about. Genji hadn’t been impressed the first few times, he knew that he was a secret to Overwatch and couldn’t really go out of the base but he did miss just going out to eat._

_He should laugh at himself for switching sides with Hanzo._

_He’d wanted him to go to Rikimaru with him down the road, he asked at least three times a week at one point. He didn’t even want ramen in the first place, he just wanted to spend time with him like they used to. Until he stopped trying and went alone, it was the last time he went at all. Ruben was trying the same way he tried to spend time with Hanzo; in fact the spy had done nothing but try to bring him out of his comfort zone. Had done nothing but show absolute care and confidence that he could go back to a sense of normalcy._

_The very least he could do is put in the effort he deserved back, so; he shaved the stubble he’d allowed to grow out of negligence, the nicest sweater he owned (baggy and large enough to hide the cybernetics of course). Jeans had become a challenge for him when he was faced with how his adjust his dimensions to fit inside a single leg. So unfortunately, sweatpants were the only option besides borrowing from Ruben… he didn’t want to stretch his hospitality any further than its already gone._

_Looking himself over in the mirror, he looked down to his prosthetic feet, up to his knees and chest. In the past he would’ve been utterly distraught at what he’d chosen to wear, no makeup, no accessories, not even a nice jacket to go with it. “You look fine, he won’t mind...I think” he spoke reassuringly to himself._

_He remembers yesterday morning when his boyfriend returned from an undercover mission, walking down the hanger of the ship with a slump. Everyone had been decked out in gear while the spy had been dressed in a suit, assuming that once Ruben’s work was complete, Reyes’s team moved in quickly. He was holding the jacket at his wrist and the tie was loosened around the neck._

_Genji had been waiting for him by the entrance, Ruben greeted him quietly with a “hey” as he nuzzled his nose against the flesh side of his neck, as close as possible. Genji put a hand at his back and rubbed it, Ruben purred against, relishing the affection._

_He was a completely different person when he was tired, he went from being a vogue model to being a puppy. He was sure it wasn’t even out of exaggeration or a joke._

_“I’m gonna pass the hell out if you don’t carry me” he murmured unintelligibly with a chuckle, Genji obliged and lifted him onto his back without compliant._

_“What else am I here for?”_

_Their commander looked onto the pair, giving him a reassuring smile before going into the cockpit to speak with the pilot._

_When they got back to their shared room which the spy inhabited alone before, he stepped over clothes still strewn on the floor from the night previous. The cyborg took note of the lace by the bed, a blush rising to his cheeks remembering how he looked in it._

_The spy fell into bed, Genji hadn’t even sat down at the edge before Ruben passed out. His cheek was squished against the pillow which opened his lip up just so that the cyborg had to avoid looking at. He felt...happiness swell in his chest when he just stayed there for a whole minute, it was only when he was asleep, when he was truly honest. No one was perfect, certainly not either of them.  
_

_It took knowing the spy for a few months to finally understand him, or at the very least come close to. He had a habit lying, nothing serious or traitorous even. More or less lying about how he feels, everyone is different around strangers, more alert, less open and defensive to an extent. But with Ruben, he might as well of been a totally different person.  
_

_He hasn’t asked why he does it, but he thinks he understands from the looks he sends his way in meetings, the small touches. That being just himself, not the spy, Ruben, made him uncomfortable._

_He looked back down to the mattress, to the hand that laid on hip, slowly moved down to his own lap. Fiddling with the metallic mechanisms around his knuckles, picking away at it._

_There were times when Genji wished they hadn't made things official, just so he didn’t accidentally see his reflection in the mirror everyday when he washed; either ruining a good day or a reminder that he wasn’t himself._

_Holding his hands with his own hands, still intact. Embracing him, talking to him, laughing with him, kissing him with lips that weren’t carbon fiber. All the while he looked at him without any thread of doubt that he was truly himself. Like the truth beyond a lie that had never existed in the first place._

_A common fantasy before he’d sleep was meeting him in a club he frequented at Hanamura, strangers without a care in the world and zero obligations to anyone but themselves. Hair freshly dyed green and a few drinks in already before ten o’clock. Though he never saw a hint of pity in the spies eye, he knew for certain they’d click. No cybernetics, no overwatch, no clan; just them and endless possibilities._

_Genji stood up from the bed to let the spy rest, he kept the clothes on and left their room to make his way to Ziegler’s office where she’d remove his component to check for any need for repairs._

_“Any discomfort this month?” She asked, examining the data pad on incoming data from his cybernetics while he lay on the table paralysed from the waist down as his legs were inspected for chafing or minor damage that might infringe on the delicate wiring._

_“A little, thankfully” he said as he looked to the ceiling where he was currently hooked to tubes and more wiring to his spine. He had gotten used to his legs and arm detaching; it had been routine for months now._

_“That’s good, it’s only small things this time, a few readjustments around your knee joints. Maybe a look into the wiring in the back? Better to be safe than sorry?”_

_Genji had hoped it wouldn’t take so long, removing his back panelling and the whole process that came after always took a half a century each time. Though Angela had been nothing but kind to him, going out of her way to make him as comfortable as possible. As much as he trusted Angela and knew she had his best interests...but he hated thinking there was something wrong and it was left unchecked._

_He sighed passively, “Of course, I have somewhere to be in a hours time though” Mercy has stood up and placed Genji’s legs onto another table, retrieving the tools necessary for the operation. Genji turned over carefully so he didn’t tumble off the work bench, laying on his stomach as he crossed his arms over in front of him and leant on his wrist._

_“I’m sure this’ll be fast, Ruben can wait” she teased, pinching his back playfully. Of course she knew, she could simply report the both of them for fraternising; but then again hypocrisy stunk up blackwatchs halls like the door of rotten cheese._

_.o._

_It was surprising to see Ruben so lively when he walked down the hall, as if he’d just gotten some great news. His eye became immediately drawn to the gold in his nose. He had a septum piercing that glinted against the harsh lighting of the lobby._

_Genji had a few piercings of himself...or he did since he didn’t exactly have ear lobes anymore, a lower lip or a belly button. But he did have a nose piercing that he could still use. He had wanted to get a tongue piercing, but he never got the chance; he imagined having one still despite the whole soft tissue carbon tongue situation._

_“I didn’t know you had a septum” the cyborg said aloud, eyeing the man up until Ruben stopped; posing in a way that made them both laugh._

_“Yeah, I got it a few years back after I joined. It barely hurt and I can’t wear it that often so” Ruben began walking again until he stood up to him, a hand hovering his waist as he pecked at the side of the carbon fiber of his face plate. “Ok ok, so. I have made plans for us tonight”_

_Genji held the door open for him, “Should I be worried?” he felt like he should’ve put more effort into what he wore considering how much Ruben had put in. “It feels like I should” Though it seemed that Ruben didn’t care even the slightest at Genji’s modesty._

_If he could find it, though unlikely seeing as he didn’t exactly remember to bring his phone to Overwatch, after he’d been brutally attacked and almost killed by his older brother._

_“Don’t it’s really low key, in and out” He wore a simple black shirt with a non descript band logo, mom jeans with rolled cuffs and simple sneakers. “Just a meal and some desert after, you can eat chocolate right? I hope you’ll forgive me that it’s not Japanese food...I figured you’d expect it” Genji thought to himself as they walked, that he could go into modelling as a legitimate civilian career._

_“What makes you think I’m homesick about Japanese food? I lived off instant noodles and pizza most of the time, it’s nice but I don’t wanna eat donburi or katsu all the time” the spy nodded,_

_“Like I said, we gotta subvert expectations. Say you took me out, where would we go?”_

_Genji mulled over it for a moment, he genuinely was stuck between a few options and had no idea which he’d prefer. “I would say you love fancy stuff, all strung up with five stars” the spy had a contemplative expression, before spitting out sharply:_

_“The whole point of being a spy is that I don’t address my true self and I live like someone else. Sure I do love a nice dinner and shit like that, who doesn’t? But I adore just small places, cheap tourist shit”_

_“Tourist food is certainly not cheap, at least not in Hanamura…”_

_“Around where the Vatican Museum is, a burger could cost you twenty euros; I meant local places away from the tourist areas...so what is it that you really want out of this?”_

_After a moment to think, he softly clicked his tongue and sighed “Well I would want something sweet,” Genji concluded, Angela might notice though and warn him not to eat too much; but this was a treat._

_“I could go for like, a slice of cake, or a cupcake, or a brownie. I don’t know. Treat yo self” Genji turned to Ruben for the pronunciation. It was a reference from an old show that he can’t remember the name of; only that it was funny._

_“Treat yo self…” he said under his breath confusingly, but huffed a snicker anyway. “A whole cake. Afterwards we just bring back a whole ass cake”._

_As the both walked through the streets towards the place Ruben had picked out for the two of them, Genji had pulled his hood up to stop the stares. At some point Ruben had gone to hold his hand, squeezing it tightly occasionally for affection._

_Genji tried not to show how much it meant to him, though he knew Ruben understood it._

_As they walked, the old cobblestone streets glowed from the golden lights illuminating them. The light bustle of nightlife coming from every direction the looked. The tourists eating their dinner in plastic chairs, all different languages and cultures packed into the small streets._

_Genji had only left the comfort and safety of the Rome Base once and even then, he didn’t even look up to admire anything about it; since there wasn’t any point to it before._

_But now that he had his head up, taking it in, breathing in the cold night air, with a man he trusted no less. He didn’t know why he didn’t come out sooner._

_As they passed people, Genji had received a look or two...or five looks. His cybernetics weren’t modest by most means, the external wiring on the back of his head, his chest and forearm mainly._

_His brother always said he didn’t respect culture, or anything for that matter. Maybe he should’ve listened...but then since when did Hanzo ever listen to him in return?_

_Ruben had looked to him after going on for a straight five minutes about how fast his metabolism was because of enhancements. So he could eat as much cake as he wanted without gaining weight...apparently if he ate too much he’d just be sick…which wasn’t enhancements related, it was just how regular biology worked. But at least he felt special and that’s what really mattered._

_“Something wrong?” Ruben asked, looking to the cyborg when he realised Genji had been silent. “Am I going on” He smiled, trying to cheer him up._

_“It’s just, I would’ve wanted to come here when I was still human.” He explained, they’d reached a glowing plaza that neared the centre of the city; old candle lit lamp surrounding it illuminating the water. He saw his reflection in it, he looked away._

_“Genj, I think you need to look at this a different way”_

_“How so?”_

_“Because you still are human...at least I think you are” the spy leaned his head against his shoulder, squeezing his fingers that had become entangled with his prosthetic hand._

_“You know what I mean” he responded; sighing as they crossed the street. Passing a group of women having a night out, drinks in hand and two walking bare feet with high heels in hand. Ruben leant his head up to peck his jaw, a small breath on his neck before he whispered._

_“You don’t fuck like a human” The cyborg turned to him, snorting too loudly to the point it attracted stares. “That was a compliment Genji!” He smiled._

_The spy removed his hand when his eyes lit up to a restaurant coming up, they passed it without the spies even paying attention towards it. Before he even knew it Ruben turned off the street, pulling him along before he presented his boyfriend with their first meal out as a couple._

_A food stand._

_It had outdoor seating where a group of American tourists sat eating something akin to burritos...w-why would you go to Rome to eat a burrito._

_The man had enough savings to afford vintage Chanel but takes him on a date to a one way ticket to food poisoning by suspiciously fishy smelling chicken. It’s true that he shouldn’t be annoyed but they’re going out to dinner in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; some spaghetti would suffice. He knows he’s a spoilt brat but he’d been convinced Ruben had some care._

_Ruben noticed Genji’s hesitation when he stopped walking and his arm was stretched a little. Ruben’s smile was concerned but humble, “Were you expecting something else?”_

_Genji looked to the shack, then back to Ruben, then once back to the shack where turn returned it with a deadpan look with a teasing grin._

_“I was- no, I wasn’t expecting anything”_

_“Obviously...it’s not fancy and it’s the least attention giving place to eat in the area; I thought you’d like it” he said a little more defeatedly. “For me, as much as I love expensive stuff; this helps me get away from it all”._

_Genji still had his hand on his where he took a small step closer. “I really appreciate it...it’s just me being spoilt” he admitted, Ruben raised an eyebrow at ‘spoilt’; he wouldn’t evaluate on it._

_They approached the stand where a teenager with an eyebrow piercing sat by the grill on his phone, they stood there for a few seconds before he noticed them and stood. Genji had been looking to the menu where a combination of spaghetti and tacos were present which he wanted to purge at the thought of. They both ordered beef burgers; that most certainly didn’t have a single bit of real beef in it._

_Genji sat down first while Ruben got some water, he couldn’t help but feel a little alone even then when someone looked at him and quickly back to their conversation. He stared at Ruben’s back, hoping he’d come quicker before he wanted to run out of sight into a bush._

_Thank god they were polite because Ruben came back soon enough with two cups and set them down before sitting down on a small wooden chair that had an incredibly obnoxious creak. He needed to get over himself fast “So...have you been here before?” He asked before picking up his cup to drink._

_“A few times when I can, Reyes brought me once and...I like it more for what it means to me then the food” he said as he looked at the surrounding buildings while they waited._

_Genji can’t say the same for himself, “Do you not like Overwatch?” He said, though more quietly to not attract attention from the name that carried so much weight. Ruben’s eyes quickly glanced to the group of people near them, he rolled with eyes._

_“It’s great and all, but it again there's more to life than Blackwatch… and cantine food gets repetitive after a while.” Genji sat back and looked at the surroundings, the buildings felt awfully looking for buildings built centuries ago…or were they just made to look like that?_

_The lamp above them was pretty enough to take a picture of, it might of been lit by a candle if he didn’t know better. Though the sizzling of the burgers distracted him due to his enhanced hearing; it did feel romantic._

_He breathed in the cool night air, letting it fill his human lungs as he exhaled through carbon fibre lips. He softly but against the inside of it, he had a habit of biting the skin inside his cheek; leaving his jaw tired._

_It was strange realising it now, but he’s never given himself time to think about how he felt about all this. Everything felt like tunnel vision to him; wipe out the clan and wait to see what happens. He truly hadn’t cared in those moments for anything or anyone; just the task. But now things had changed._

_He looked back to Ruben, who was looking down at his phone and occasionally looking up to the stand waiting. He was trying, trying harder than Genji would ever give him praise for; but he still tried to help him._

_He’d done nothing for him, he’d even hospitalised him within the first half hour of them meeting. So why was he still going out of his way to help him unless he had something to gain. How was he supposed to tell if Ruben even liked him? What was fake and what was genuine?_

.o.

Genji and Zenyatta had been peacefully sleeping in their shared room, the small light of the charging port with Zenyatta sat by the wall; deactivated for the night. While Genji had been shedding his exterior armour, sleeping in an unnoticeably firm bed with the sounds of snoring coming through every so often from the walls. The price paid when sleeping in the room next to Reinhardt.

He wished he could just turn off his systems like Zenyatta could, sitting cross legged against the wall on a pillow with a small cable attached to the back of his neck to a larger portable generator.

He’d only managed to get to sleep, his dreams empty from the spies' influence tonight and instead it was some kind of variation of his old paramichi doll chasing him and Reinhardt chasing him with the face of his paramichi doll. Both scaring him equally as much.

Just as he was about to be caught, he jolted awake in a start that almost landed him off the bed. His issued comm lit up with a start as Athena’s voice came through. “Agents, report to briefing room two in fifteen minutes. Emergency mission briefing by Strike Commander Winston”

Almost ironically, just as Genji was about to fall back asleep, his LED green lights from his interior cybernetics came on with a flicker...well he’s awake now. He groaned in frustration as he reached over and turned on the bedside light. “Urgh…” he groaned again, the content of his dream slipping away as he stood up. 

Zenyatta’s own square shaped lights flickered on with a quiet buzz, putting a hand over his head. “Are we being called for a meeting?” He asked, looking over to see the time on Genji’s alarm.

“Yep, fifteen minutes” he repeated, going over to his closet and grabbing a sweater and sweatpants. 

“What time is it” Zenyatta asked as politely as he could probably muster; even when technically the omnic didn’t actually need sleep. The interruption halted his recharging cycle and probably could’ve damaged him in some way. 

“Three-forty one in the morning.” he growled, as he sat up in bed; stretching his arms above his head as he just went about reaching for sweat pants and a shirt; deciding to leave his armour platings. He really couldn’t be bothered to do his wakeup routine.

After five minutes, the pair emerged out of their private room; Zenyatta graced the usual loose harem pants, walking with a slight slump as if the omnic were actually tired. “You okay?” Genji asked quietly to let the other agents sleep.

“I’m just feeling a little fuzzy...I’ll be alright in a few minutes”.

Not everyone exited their dorms, a very grumpy Reinhardt and Mercy came out of their dorms with a dead look on their faces. Tracer seemed equally as unimpressed as Genji himself. Mccree looked as though he was sleepwalking, he turned to Tracer and grumbled “What's happened?” as they all began walking in the same direction towards the briefing hallway a small walk away.

“Not a clue...this feels abusive…” she remarked, everyone agreed. Except Reinhardt, who Genji thought might actually be sleep walking.

Once they all made it to the briefing room, there stood Winston by a holovid; preparing the brief; the gorilla seemed wide awake for someone at three in the morning. Genji wondered if that was a gorilla thing? Or just that he just happened to stay awake.

“I’m terribly sorry for waking all of you, but something urgent has come up that needs our attention immediately,” he said, getting up and moving to the front of the room where the old but still functioning projector was. Over half the base’s occupants were present, he wondered why not all and just them. Winston coughed in his throat, everyone’s attention being caught, he began the briefing.

“As you all know, our primary focus is to track Talon movements, but on the side I’ve also been investigating to track null sector movements; however we’ve been following leads to activity and through reconnaissance that Agent Hanzo has provided. From this we have reason to believe that they are cooperating to attack in Florence. A large crew have been situated there for a few weeks now and from this being the first we’ve heard in even more time; I want it investigated and have it as a priority for now.”

Hanzo had been sent to Florence only a week after he’d been in Gibraltar, he’d tried so hard to start things out with small talk and offering to spend time with him. It had already taken a lot to convince him to come back with him to begin with, but he’d found a way to leave again of course.

It felt like a big waste of time, investing time into opening Hanzo up to him and maybe the rest of the team. He feels like he’s failing in trying to reconnect with his brother, or even form a relationship that hadn’t been present in two decades.

He can tell he’s tired, drained and probably exhausted because of him, but he can’t stop trying to open him up. He knows Mercy can’t break patient confidentiality by any means, but he does suspect that Hanzo does have a drinking problem that’s just gotten worse. Sometimes he can smell it on him, silent passes in the hallway where the sting of sake hangs in the air.

He knows it in himself and through years of suffering that he forgave him, but Hanzo can’t accept that. But what came as a mild surprise to him, but should've been expected; was how much Hanzo had suffered.

.o.

Genji swept through the mercenaries like a knife to warm butter, with almost one blow they’d be on the floor. Swiftly and gracefully holding back the enemy with the precision he’d learned to admire and even strive for. They’d all spent weeks tearing into omnic armour that he’d begun to get used to it.

The reason why Talon was here in the first place, Winston couldn’t discern or figure out. But they were armed, very armed; almost like they were hunting. His teammates were shouting at each other through his comm, calling for aid or grouping up. He could hear Reinhardt having the time of his life, swinging his hammer like an extension of his own body. With Brigette at his side, just as she’d always wanted to be.

He was taking down the back up mercs that were strolling in to join the fight further in the city. It was concerning him as to how far he was from the team; if something were to happen it would mean he’d have little to no support.

It wasn’t as though he could rely on Hanzo to help him, that man had suspiciously found himself on the opposite side of the fighting; furthest away from him.

“How’s it looking back there? I’m almost done back here” Genji said into his comm, sliding on the ground and falling into a stop; almost slipping on the uneven cobblestone street. Cutting down a talon soldier in the process with a swift cut. 

He could hear Mercy gasping out of breath, assumingly from boosting Reinhardt and following him in all the damage. “We’re pushing through the blockade! Be wary Genji” 

He shot his head in all directions; heaving softly as steam rose from his shoulders. He softly tapped the tip of his sword twice on the ground out of habit. “Nothing we can’t handle” Echo flew overhead in the distance, drones following behind her like flies. Beyond her was where he thought the famous piazza della signoria was. However down the small alleyway he found nothing but destruction, the ground was littered with small rocks; chunks of stone and cement had been taking from the ground and walls. Uneven chunks as if someone had dug them from the ground; large gaping holes left in their wake. Thousands of years worth of history cut down in just a few seconds worth of that time.

A loud shout echoed the walls, carnage sounding out as crashes and gunshots sounded out. He pounced forward; jumping up to the high wall and then to the wall opposite to gain a vantage point. The square was a mess, a statue at the centre had been toppled in the fighting and broken into pieces.

He caught sight of a man at least six foot tall, clad in thick blue armour, suspended in the air with an outstretched arm toward a man he assumed he was fighting. With the bodies of talon soldiers littering around them. Parts of a fountain that was in the centre was broken beyond repair; the figure once on it had made its way on top of a gazebo on the far end of the square. 

The opponent was practically running circles around him, on the constant defence while dodging large rocks with acrobatic prefincy. He didn’t recognise them as any of his team, only him and Hanzo had that kind of near acrobatic agility. His mouth agaped when he saw nothing between the boulders of the man hurling them; no rope, no contraption, no weapon. It looked as though they’d been in this stand still for a while, throwing hits only to be dodged.

He didn’t know who the other man was or his purpose, but decided if the telekinetic was with talon; he chose the greater evil. It was then he somehow lifted the rugged man off his feet; falling upside down by his leg, close to hitting his head against the cobblestone as he suspended him in the air. Struggling as he grasped at air or anything he could use to himself out.. His jacket hanging down off his frame, only his leg was being held up; leaving him kicking at nothing.

He jumped high, aiming to slice at the shoulder padding that jutted out in smaller mechanisms and incapacitate him. He dove down, sword in hand and raised high as he called Soba to his aid with a shout. “ **Ryujin no ken wo kurae!** ”

Soba roar shook his chest and echoed around the plaza like speakers, energy coursed through his body; feeding into his soul in an instant as he moved ten metres in half a second. Green filled his vision as he sliced against his back; a shout escaping his throat as he landed.

The man had fallen back to the ground after landing a shot to his arm from what looked like a mechanism on his wrist.

 _Wait_.

Distracted while the taller man crouched on the ground clutching his arm, he darted his head around to double take the man he just saved. His breath was caught in his throat like a vice, gripping tighter and tighter every time he blinked with his gaze set to the stranger. Horrible familiarity, disgustingly beautiful, it couldn’t be.

The threat forgotten, everything slowing down to a near halt. The man hadn’t gotten up, sharing Genji’s penetrating eye contact; his mouth agape trying to catch his breath. He read him carefully, trying to find any reason at all why it wasn’t him. His eyes were bloodshot though he shared his hazel green eyes, exhausted and heavy, his hair the same brown bordering on ginger with no indication of greying, but longer and tied up into a bun with strands flaking down his hair. 

Finally, he looked to his cheek; his heart dropped with truth as he laid eyes upon the scar on his cheek. Exactly where he cut it years ago, the shape and prominence still exist from the last time he and Ruben had last been in the same room.

“Genji?” he stuttered out, as if he needed further confirmation that this was him, he released his breath, dropping his sword as his hands seized up in shock; the sound of it clattering muffled by the thick tension. Soba’s fury simmered down to a candle in response, seemingly calmed by his presence. Memories, thoughts and years of thinking of what to say to him cascading into void. Rendering him absolutely helpless and speechless as to how to even begin. 

There was so much he’d wanted to say to him, how sorry he was, how much he regretted how their relationship had ended. How many times he’d thought of him on cold nights, or even warm ones that still felt just as cold as the others without him.

He couldn’t connect this man to Ruben, the person still sat in front of him would never have allowed himself to be this disheveled. Van Gogh took age better than he did, he noticed that the facial hair he’d always wanted but could never truly set in beyond a heavy stubble. The spy’s hair was now long, haphazardly being tied up into a bun. He wore an oversized brown jacket that hung off his frame and accented his legs; but his legs were hardly the focus of the moment.

It was strange of him to think that he’d never change, that he’d always remain the same young man with unbound confidence, sense of taste and a gentlemanly elegance. But he’d be wrong again since he was much worse last he’d seen him.

Ruben’s face shifted from shock, to absolute contempt. “What are you doing here” He demanded, looking away from him and standing back up with a stumble, despite Genji moving to offer him his hand. He looked at the mysteriously powered man who’d now passed out on the ground. He kicked him in the ribs for good measure. Genji winced in slight sympathy.

“I thought you were still in Japan, Genji.” he spat out his name like a poison.

“I haven’t been in Japan for months, Ruben.” he didn’t want to fight with him. The man scoffed, tilting his head to say something he probably wouldn’t mentally recover from.

Before he had the chance, and him asking why he was in Florence, Ruben looked to the roof tops beyond him. Eyes wide in alarm as he sprinted towards him and hurled himself on him, a booming shot rang out.

Genji hadn’t had a chance to react, razor blades carving and fire burning his back. He could felt the sparks of energy from his cybernetics breaking. His heads up display alerting him to the damages; he couldn’t focus on it to do anything about it. Ruben shouted something unintelligible to him and shot at the sniper far on the rooftops out of his range. But nonetheless he tried.

Out of the corner of his eye a small can came rolling next to him; exploding into thick smoke, filling up his vision almost instantly with a consistent hissing and clanging of metal. 

He was heaved up by his arms quickly and thrown over a shoulder “c’mon we’re going”, he grunted in exertion until he managed to get into a good rhystem; only being able to see his legs as he ran. The smoke bing he threw must’ve covered half the plaza, the sounds of shots leaving the further they got.

The beat of Ruben’s feet; the soft glow of his sword being carried in his hand for him; the sound of his metallic boots against the rocky stone floor drifted him into unconsciousness almost like a baritone, clocking away softly until darkness took over him like a blanket. “Did you come with anyone?” He asked in between breaths as he took off the cowl from around his neck and put it on the gaping wound on on his back, giving small shocks to the both of them as wiring met flesh.

This isn’t how he wanted it to go, it shouldn’t of been this way. But the expression on Ruben’s face hardly shared his melancholy. It was as though he was staring at a stranger, he just...looked at him or straight past without a single piece of sentiment. He couldn’t blame him seeing as it had been literal years since they last talked…

Well, their last talk was less of a conversation, but more of a shouting match. Saying that they’d left things on a bad note would be an understatement, each side being equally as cruel. 

“Genji stay with me! Genji!”

.o.

Genji comes to lucidity to the sound of the soft whirring of the engines working at full speed to get them back to Gibraltar. He felt the panelling around his back had been removed judging by the chill he felt run up jos spine whenever someone’s hands picked inside of him.

There’s chatter outside the orange curtain; blurred and unfocused but unmistakeably Winston’s voice on the comm by the center of the hoverjet space. The main lights were turned off in favour for smaller ones along the sides of the ship; save for the large one faced to his back; casting harsh shadows.

He couldn’t begin to even think to draw a sentence, coming out in drawls and mumbles. But as steam of consciousness fought to stay awake; the thought of his ex came to mind.

He saw him, he was there keeping him safe...he saved him...or was it someone else and he hallucinated. His hands were a little calloused, though delicate and long with the left ring finger missing; just like his.

He mumbled, he went to move his arms up to his chin to prop up; only to find that it feels like dragging through mud with small razor blades. He felt a hand on his shoulder, urging him back down gently.

“Try not to move” Angela spoke; her voice calm and almost a whisper, distracted by the task at hand. 

From the tips of his fingers to his feet, he was close to numb. Save for the small pestering feeling deep in his back, like sparks going off. Instead of trying to get up, he decided to try for sleep again. But all he saw when he closed his eyes was Ruben, looking down at him with such care.

“Your under some heavy painkillers, there’s shrapnel lodged in your internal wiring and some of it got through to the tissue” she explained, Genji didn’t quite understand what she meant or what she was talking about; only that it was serious. 

He mumbled an ok, turning his head to the left to try and catch on what they were saying. Staying awake became a tedious task that he wasn’t bothered to try with. 

He could feel Soba within what remained off the tattoo on his thigh, feeling his energy rise to his pelvis and into his chest.

The street lights above him cast down a thick yellow glow, his unmistakable face was partially shadowed with stark blacks. His eyes, which reminded him of lush trees, his thousands of tiny freckles stained with dirt but still just as vivid as six years ago. He wishes he’d seen him grow into his crows feet, the hair he’d grown, he wishes he never missed a single moment with him. 

The last he’d seen him, his vision changed to him in the swiss med bay six years ago. His hair cut, covered in bruises, bandages, oxygen mask strapped to his face while tears ran by the metal. He’d clutched his arm; struggled out of the hospital bed and _begged_ him to stay, pleaded and cried for him not to leave him. 

He had said something just as he left, last he’d heard it on his mother’s lips over ten years ago. It had shocked him so much that he left without saying goodbye; those words shocking him to the very core rendering him stunned beyond belief.

Now unsurprisingly, the expression on Ruben’s face hardly shared his melancholy. It was as though he was staring at a stranger, he just...looked at him or straight past without a single piece of sentiment. He couldn’t blame him seeing as it had been literal years since they last talked… 

“Wait...there’s something. It’s- where is he” he couldn’t keep his thoughts straight, let alone speak since almost all his cybernetics had been shut off, including his jaw muscles. 

Angela peered down, getting up to listen. “What?”

“Where is-where’s Ruben” he asked, looking again to his left a little brighter than before trying to catch a glimpse. He could feel Soba rile at the mention of his name. He had to be here, he saved him so he was probably going with the others. He had to be. “I have to-I-he’s in trouble”

He had to make it right. Angela nudged him back down, ushering him back to unconsciousness softly. “It’s fine…”

.o.

McCree turned his head away from the group conversation to the sound of his old friend's name being mentioned by Genji. His suspicions rose as he clutched at the bloodied cowl in his hands.

He’d found Genji alone, leant up against an alley wall, seizing up painfully with a bullet wound found on his back; a trial of blood left behind him. He’d stayed firm and calm as he called Mercy for aid, mid sentence the curbing had grabbed onto him; almost tearing his serape into two. He’d asked ‘where he was’ over and over, it didn’t take a genius to see the cowl he held so tightly though carefully; the same one an old friend had barely ever taken off, and who _‘he’_ was. 

To deal with the situation at large, he’d just ignored it and made sure Genji got back to the dropship. Just a random green cowl...same type...same initials written inside the label, smudged but legible. He looked down to the cowl, holding it in both hands and moving it around. The blood had dried though his glove and cybernetic were still left a little red. He’d have to remove and wash it when they got back.

“He awake then?” Tracer had turned to it as well. Jesse stayed quiet to try and listen for anything else, when nothing came he turned back to the pilot. 

“I would assume so” he didn’t quite brush off what he’d heard, but his focus multitasked into listening for Genji; seeking to reassure his sudden nerves for what he thought he heard. 

Winston had been on the line for a while, an active call going out in constant contact to make sure things ran smoothly. It ran through Athena’s anti virus or hacking software to make sure no one listened in on any important information. 

He’d brought the issue of the cowl up to Winston, showing the accessory to the hologram of him. His eyes perked up in curiosity, “You are certain that Van Gogh saved Genji?”

“I never saw him go out without this thing, it even has his initials on it” he scanned back down to find them reassuringly. Winston’s expression was certainly...puzzled, thinking through countless possibilities as to why their old friend was at such a place and time. “I know it’s his…I don’t wanna sit down knowin’ he’s out there in trouble.”

“I feel kinda guilty leaving anyone behind…” Lena piped in, though they hadn’t known each other very long while the previous Overwatch still ran; he was nevertheless a familiar face to their cause. Possibly a new one to the re-call if Jesse convinces Winston. “I’m sorry if I’m buttin in a little but- I’d agree with Jesse”.

“I believe you Mccree, truly I do…but I’m afraid as of right now discussing options with him is out of our hands. Once I’ve come to a decision when you return, we’ll think on how to proceed” he spoke with vigour, confidence without a hint of awkwardness or the stutter that accompanied his words. 

“I understand, I just hope it’s doin alright back there”.

“I hope so too”.

As rumour and news spread amongst the team, all felt a small sense of unrest at the pit of their stomachs. Much of Overwatch had become disconnected, people severed from long time friends and even some as close as family. Most of the old guard took the news with a grain of salt given the fate of the majority of the blackwatch department. Either dead or joined up with criminal organisations, whether they liked it or not that had to be taken into consideration.

But still, Ruben to many people was a good friend and a precious, loyal ally to Overwatch and it’s agents. His knowledge of Talon after years investigating and leading operations against them could be invaluable. Perhaps the key element that changes the tides in this war.

Most of all Jesse was concerned for the fate of both of his long time friends, he hadn’t gotten a chance to even speak to Ziegler since a Genji came back barely breathing. Now Ruben back from wherever he’d been…

He looked down at the blood on the cowl, hoping it was Genji’s and not from some kind of fatal blow to the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr handle- callmevangogh  
> My twitter handle- spratzy


	5. Chapter 5

Ruben has rushed to his hideout on the other side of the city, an old warehouse that had been equipped with a catwalk. His heart pounding in his chest and adrenaline boiling his blood. Overwatch? He had barely known anything about the Re-Call up until now, that being from conversations he had with Gabe just before the end. But it was real now, and he would’ve known about it if he hadn’t broken his comm.  


But Genji…

Seeing him standing just metres in front of him felt like being choked, but now that he was gone. He felt drowned in the void that he left, it sickened him to know that through all the rehearsing he thought of when he’d see him next; he failed so utterly. He’d been completely unprepared for it.

“ _ Who was that? _ ” Capheus emerged from behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Ruben sighed, putting a hand to his forehead as he crouched down. It was someone who has seen him for who he was, as he did to him.

“It doesn’t matter” he delivered, an obvious underestimation to both himself and Capheus. He used to be a good liar, he made an entire career out of lying.

Capheus raised an eyebrow at him, “ _ Of course it doesn’t, that’s why you saved his life _ ” The entity asked, Ruben putting both hands onto the railing and leaning on it as he tried to calm down.

“Drop it” his grip tightened on the rail. “Just stay calm everything’s fine it’s-...fuck I don’t-I don’t know”.

His thoughts roamed to the worst case scenarios, what if this was all a trick? Make Ruben lull into a false sense of comfort, have him slowed down enough for capture? “ _ So what do we do now? _ ”

They could’ve gotten Genji, for all he knew the thing that stood before him was just a glorified omnic with holotech to make him like he had Genji’s face. Or Genji had turned to Talon...he wouldn’t be surprised at this point.

He’d changed so much since he last saw him, for better or for worse, he didn’t know. He looked like a cyborg then, but now he just looked like a glorified omnic seeing as he there wasn’t any skin showing.

Why would Overwatch just so conveniently be in Florence, at the exact same date and time that he would. He had stayed a little longer then he should’ve, doing a few bounties and hit jobs. He shouldve known better than to overstay, now he’d attracted not just talon scouts, but people he wanted anywhere else but near him.

He received Winston’s message, looping it over and over until he could recite it in his head. It was distorted and crackled due to the poor state his communicator; if Capheus was taken out of the equation then he would’ve answered in a heartbeat.

But still, Capheus. His presence would’ve endangered everyone more than they already were, he wanted his last memories of his teammates to be good ones; ones he was proud of and fully himself. He also wasn’t sure how ready he’d be to see Genji again.

He pushed back against the railing, hearing it creak with well formed rust. Looking to the entity that stopped him from rejoining his comrades. “Nothing”.

“ _ Nothing? Let them come?”  _ The entity questioned, he turned away and frustratingly knocked against the rail; causing a part of it to collapse. 

“We have time. Talon aren’t coming back here any time soon if overwatch is involved... that’s my home you're breaking.” He remarked as he walked away from him towards the corner of the warehouse; where a few crates gave him enough cover to make a small home out of for now. They were five feet apart which gave him room to store his bag, lay out equipment and symmetrically lay out his sleeping bag. Above him he’d laid out a cloth on top between the crates to make it feel more comfortable. To give it the sense that he was just camping, instead of sleeping in a cold dusty warehouse full of spiders. He shivered at the thought of one crawling over him while he slept and almost gagged when he imagined one just standing by his face. 

He hopes the internet lied when they said you eat at least three spiders in your lifetime when asleep. He remembered back to when he put on his jacket after keeping it as a pillow one night, only to find one the size of his fingernail crawling down the inner layering. He damaged the stitching done to a tear by how many times he beat it against the wall. But other than that, he’s grown used to the cons of sleeping rough.

He scratched at his stubble, much to his dismay his facial hair had never truly come in; he could never grow a full beard since it would still be too fine in some parts. His jaw he had the most trouble with since he hadn’t trimmed there in almost two years, but his upper lip and chin grew faster. If he left it long enough then his moustache would just keep...growing.

He turned on the small orange light he’d nailed into the crate opposite the sleeping bag and knelt down and sat on top of his bag, taking off his large jacket to inspect. He bit his lip and sighed when he poked a finger through a hole that must’ve come from the tall man he fought earlier.

“There’s a tear” he said simultaneously to himself and to the entity that had seemed to disapparate to recover from today and recharge. He only darted his eyes up, he had a habit of being quiet as well and simply staring.

Before he begun anything, he went and leaned against the wall behind him and took off his boots; unbuckling and slipping out of the metallic components that protected his feet. He placed them both by his bag upright, stretching them out but soon acknowledging the bruises around his soles; he’d calmed enough to finally notice the bruising along his ribs and legs where he’d been thrown about by the man in the plaza

He dug into his bag, fishing around for the small bag he kept his sewing supplies in. He grimaced in shame as his hand bumped into the slightly larger square plastic container, holding something he wasn’t proud of. Before bringing out the needle and a ball of thread he kept in a smaller container labelled thusly. He laid out his jacket on his lap, biting off how much thread he needed and fed it through the needle hole. 

There were small signs of other repairs he’d done on his jacket, it’s kept him warm, best itemised as a blanket on cold nights. The sleeves were detachable, which he kept at the bottom of his bag since he hasn’t had to zip them on for a while.

In a fight he’d need as much mobility as he could muster anyhow, he couldn’t bend his arms or throw his punches as quickly; he also simply preferred having room to stretch out sometimes since his joints were finicky when under used.

In the gentle warmth of his small home, he pushed the needle through the faux leather next to the tear, coming through with some force before he angled it back up and pushed it once more upwards and back out. He sighed peacefully, his eyes growing heavier the more he repeated the sewing further down, the jacket. “Overwatch…” he muttered under his breath, thinking of the broken comm in his bag with the overwatch insignia on it. 

He could try...no, he didn’t want to endanger anyone with Capheus around. Would he have travelled to Gibraltar if it weren't for him? Would he be with people he trusted, people he cared for, a place he could call home without it being temporary. But he knew for a fact that he couldn’t go on like this anymore, running from one hideaway to another like some kind of criminal. He supposed he fit that description well now considering things he’s done to stay on the move.

He counted down the charges he has against him as he moved the sewing needle in and out of his jacket. His eyes heavy lidded and his movements slow and careful to make clean incisions into the fabric.

.o.

_ Genji had just been taking the rest of the night off back to their room, he’d moved into Ruben’s quarters a few months ago after they decided that they would take new steps in their relationship. Knowing that he was moving forward in some form felt satisfying, fulfilled that he could see a future for himself. _

_ His check-up with the head doctor stationed at the Rome base seemed well enough, she had made a comment that she was glad he was feeling better about his situation. It was that affirmation that made him feel even better about going to see him. _

_ It was routine by now that they’d spend plenty of time together after their missions, either through going out to eat; a Japanese place or the same burger stand Ruben took him too for their first date. But much preferably spent on their small twin bed, watching movies, telling each other stories, new shows and inbetween, Ruben‘s face being shoved into the mattress. Though all that proved to be a challenge given said small twin bed, but with time they’d both learnt how to accommodate each other. Or when Genji felt confident enough they’d do much more than just cuddling, but it was a rarity which Ruben didn’t seem to mind. _

_ He’d just returned from a mission somewhere in Germany and briskly walked across the base to their room, the halls were empty of people who were still off on duty. Once he approached the door he was about to enter the door code onto the key pad when he heard something through the door. _

_ He stopped midway through the motion of typing, his hand hovering over the pad as he waited for the sound again. When it came, it sounded like sniffling, weeping. Genji moves his palm to the door frame, listening more closely with an ear against the metal.  _

_ He could hear Ruben’s accent through the sound and grimaced when that confirmed who it was crying. His heart leapt into his throat, he couldn’t bear hearing his boyfriend in such a way. Whatever had him this way, Genji searched his memory of anything that might even suggest a problem. He didn’t know much about Ruben’s personal life, or anything beyond what he’s been told. Whenever he’d bring up anything relating to him and his past he’d shut him down, but he’d always been there for him...so why shouldn’t he be here for him now. _

_ He looked back down to the keypad, debating whether he should go in or not. He didn’t want to be selfish but he didn’t want to just leave him like that.  _

_ He hadn’t realised someone had been behind him before he audibly ahmed and shocked him half out of his skin. Jesse stood with a cigar between his fingers, his uniform messy and his expression tired and ready for a good nights sleep; but an eyebrow raised. “What you doin?” He asked quietly, eyes glancing to the door. _

_ Genji stood for a moment, before stepping away and urging McCree to the other end of the hall with a look. Jesse took a drag and followed with an exhausted sigh. They’d both just returned for the night, he really didn’t want to disturb the cowboy if he was tired. But he just-he needed to know. _

_ Once Ruben was out of earshot, Genji turned and began; “I don’t know if something happened, but clearly something did...I just wanna be frank and-” he really didn’t want to push anything, both of them looked at each other awkwardly. The cowboy raising an eyebrow and held the cigar close to his mouth as a reassurance . Jesse was one of the most loyal people he’d ever met, to their commander and co-workers.  _

_ “Yeah uh...some heavy shit went down that involved Ruben a lot; he didn’t tell you?” He asked, the tone of his voice suggested it was something he should obviously know. The cyborg looked beyond him to their shared dorm. “I’m not gonna say shit seeing’ as that’s his own business-“ _

_ “But he won’t” he wished that came out better, he reaffirmed his footing and looked back to Ruben’s room to make sure he wasn’t listening. “I-I’m sorry, but it’s just…” _

_ “Well maybe there’s a reason for it, long as I’ve known em he’s always been private. I ain’t never pushed for details neither” Jesse asserted, a hint of frustration in his voice. “There a reason you're asking me this now?” He sighed, looking at his room's door with longing. “I’m real tired” _

_ “Please I promise I’ll never ask you anything like this again”  _

_ Jesse took another drag, leaning back against the large frame of the entrance to the dorms. “Well-“ He stayed quiet for a moment before beginning, “He ever told you bout’ the group he was with before Blackwatch?; it had a french name” he breathed out a puff of smoke, aiming away from the cyborg. “Somethin’ somethin de lune” _

_ “Once, I know they’re the reason he has that thing”. He gestured to his neck. There lay a deep burn that circled around his neck, intentionally put there and moulded the flesh like thick batter. The scar tissue was sensitive, he either had it covered up most of the time with a cowl or one of his many turtlenecks.  _

_ “But not just that...there’s a lot more to the story than I know but it’s just-, we took in this asshole who was one o’ their leaders today. Ruben was the one who took em in, bruised and bloody all to hell n’ shit…on the way back Ru got really quiet. In a way I’d never seen him before”. _

_ Genji mulled the word ‘quiet’ in his mind, physically moving it around in his mouth. Quiet? No word he’d think of to associate him would ever be quiet. “What do you mean by quiet?” He thought he knew him well enough...but obviously it’s the evidence to that assumption that’s landed them to this moment.  _

_ “Look...I know that he’s never been more relaxed than he's ever been when he’s with you, go to him” he took a puff of his cigar and made his way back down the hallway sluggishly. “That’s all I can say”. _

_ Genji stood speechlessly, he respected Jesse’s loyalty to Ruben’s confidence. But all that left him with was more questions, assumptions and his imagination taking root in the possibilities of how seeing his old boss affected him. _

_ Jesse had opened his door, the smell of tobacco and cheap cologne emanating like thick fog which couldn’t possibly be good for him. He looked back, urging him to Ruben’s door with a look and a smile for encouragement before he went inside, the door sliding shut behind him. _

_ He walked back to their door, his anxiety telling him to respect Ruben’s privacy and leave him be. But he can’t bring himself to leave him like this, not when he needs him. He faced the door, placing his hand onto the metal door frame. He built the courage he needed to break the silence, breathing in as he began; _

_ “Ru?” He spoke calmly, the sounds from inside stopped; he could hear the sheets shuffling and being moved alongside the creak of the bed with footsteps following. _

_ “What” his broken voice came through, his heart tugged to him; he clutched at the flat metal door in sympathy but exhaustion. _

_ “Can I come in? I know you have a lot on your mind but-...please” Genji asked, he could hear footsteps approaching the door; it didn’t open for a few seconds before Ruben spoke; _

_ “Sure” the door swung open off its lock, Ruben pulling it open from his side. He wiped his eyes roughly, trying to disperse the red swelling around his eyes. He didn’t meet his gaze, looking to his chest as he turned back to the bed that had become more disheveled than he left it. He’d strewn his armour on the floor, his gloves left by the computer with blood patches along the knuckles. The blackwatch symbol on the plating of his shoulder pad had faded slightly, almost symbolically so. _

_ He picked them up, throwing them inside the laundry basket in the corner. Ruben watched him intently, almost unnervingly so before hunching down on their shared bed; head down with a sense of shame and elbows leaning against his spread legs. “Shit” _

_ Genji sat down next to him, going cross legged by the pillows while the other sat further by the end of the bed. “You know you can talk to me about anything” Ruben looked up to him melancholically, his voice choked in his throat.  _

_ “I-I’m just not feeling well, that’s all”. _

_ “Are you sure?” Genji bent down to lay across his head across his lap, reaching an arm around his thigh with a hand against his knee. The spy ran his fingers through Genji’s black hair, gently brushing through any tangles or thick parts. “I don’t want to push you, i just- I wanna know what I can do for you.” He spoke plainly, his heart aching for him. “I’m worried” _

_ Ruben stopped, his hand staying where they were. Through tense trepidation, he sighed through his nose and resumed. He didn’t have to look at him to know he’d stopped crying. “Genji, your brother-” he asked, the cyborg looked up a little too quickly and startled him slightly. He smiled pathetically, continuing;  _

_ “He did something horrible to you, what would you do if you saw him again?” _

_ “If he was just right there” There was no doubt in his mind to what his answer would be. Hanzo has little remorse or care for how he felt about anything in any regard. What he’d do after Blackwatch weighed on him heavily most of the time; or imagining the prospect of him seeing him again. _

_ He Genji lifted himself up from Ruben’s touch, “I-“ he started, he hadn’t thought of him in such a long time the he hadn’t realised how good he had felt until Ruben mentioned him.  _

_ But right now he wasn’t sure if what he’d say would be helpful for him. “What I’d do isn’t important right now” he answered, afterwards a long silence ensued. Ruben’s eyes were looking to something beyond Genji, his touched slowed to a halt before he laid down on the bed with a sigh.  _

_ Genji lied down behind him, wrapping his arm around his chest and holding him closely. He felt stiff at first, like all his muscles were tensed up ready to defend himself; Genji carefully stroked his hair, then down to his back while shushing him. He practically deflated against him, nuzzling in closer to him like a security blanket.  _

_ “Did I tell you I was trafficked?” he said quietly, the cyborg opening his eyes to the shock and bluntness of those words. How he said them so...comfortably despite the subject matter. “The person we brought in today had a hand in it...and I beat him half to death” He blurted out just as quietly as the last time he spoke, matter of factly, awkward though how could there be any other way of saying it. Genji did the only thing he knew in response, he held him closer to his chest, gently stroking his hair as they went.  _

_ The idea of Ruben hurting someone that bad in such a way, what McCree said earlier and what Van Gogh asked moments ago. He understood that this man was still alive somewhere in the base,his wounds tended to or not. But that this could’ve been way worse than it had been because it was at least implied that Ruben was fully prepared, even expecting to end his life. Not out of orders or self defence, but murder; right or wrong he wanted someone dead. He’d be a hypocrite if he said it was the wrong thing to do. _

_ He could hear him sobbing against him, tucked away so he couldn’t see; “You’re enough for me...don’t feel like you aren’t” the spy said in between breaths, struggling to get the words out “I’m scared as shit”. _

_ “You’re fine…Do you want some tissues?” The cyborg reassured, gently landing a small his forehead as he stayed still enough for Ruben to manoeuvre around him. He looked up to him, moving his head up to nod wordlessly.  _

  
.o.

When they got back to base, Genji had been brought out in a stretcher down the steps of the hover carrier. The shot had torn through a vital component in his wiring and Angela had spent the entire night looking over him to make sure he was stable. The bags under her eyes were dark and heavy, almost stumbling down the walkway in exhaustion as the team made their way back to their well deserved free time. Spent asleep.

He would have to be put into a temporary coma for his own health, allowing his body time to heal. She suspected that it could be the handy work of the Widowmaker, given what type of bullet it was and traces of a neurotoxin present. Thankfully it didn’t hit any key mechanisms or organs. She was glad that she didn’t have to overlook his health for the time being, her duties being carried on to the others with medical training on base.

Doubek and Lucio met them at the runway, just behind him was the cyborg's brother looking on to his wounded brother. She eyed him for a moment, assessing his expressions before their eyes met. She smiled weakly, thankfully he didn’t bother her for details but knew he might ask later. The two nurses looked on to the cyborg as they carried him off through the double doors on a hovering stretcher where he’d be treated. 

There was no one she trusted than those two when it came to handling issues like this. Just as she mentally clocked out to sleep, she got up from where she was sitting momentarily to make her way back to her room, in her sweet comfortable bed. But alas, Jesse entered her field of view. 

“Hey, Angie? Can we talk fer a sec” he asked, clutching something in his hands gently. “I didn’t get a chance to catch you back there. Is he gonna be okay?” He asked, the bags under his eyes in equal to hers. 

“I think he’ll be fine, despite its severity it didn’t hit any internal organs. Just destroyed plating, muscles and such...we’ll know more later but I swear to god-“ she shook her head in frustration at the thought of her having to do surgery later “We’re gonna have to get some new parts in”. 

“You’ll do fine, they got it covered right now”

“I know they do...I worry” she expressed, crossing her arms over her chest with a sigh. Closing her eyes and looking down to the ground, waiting for what he really had to say. 

“I really don’t mean to add to that worry with this but uh...yeah” he brought out what he’d tucked against his arm and showed her just what he’d been carrying.

A bloodied green cowl. She didn’t get much time to think about anything else but keeping Genji alive, forgetting that detail. “Oh yes! I’m so sorry I forgot, yes. Winston wanted it analysed” reaching her hand out to take the delicate cowl from him. He hesitantly gave it to her, afraid of letting it go. The smell of blood lingered on it, alongside the dried red that had seeped onto her fingers. “It might be hard considering Genji bled out onto this, but we’ll see how it goes”. Jesse nodded, looking back over to his friend on the stretcher. 

“Good! When yer done with it you can just give it to me. He’s gonna want it back” he made his way around her towards the exit of the hangar bay and towards the quarters where she wanted to head back to as well. But in fairness she truly needed to run over a few things before she could sleep. 

Rubbing her eyes with a clean hand, she made her way with the wheelie that held her caduceus suit and weapon components in a small crate. She walked it back to the medical bay where she placed the cowl on the countertop next to her desk. She’d set it carefully down, looking to the tag on the side out of pure curiosity. She was glad Van had stayed alive and seemingly well enough to save Genji’s life. Jesse has seemed to be practically overjoyed at the news of their old friend joining their ranks, but of course the septic in her mind overruled her. In that it seemed like too much of a coincidence that he would be there just as they were without any prior knowledge. He could’ve easily just stayed with Genji and met up with the rest of the team but...he hadn’t.

She doesn’t quite understand what made the cyborg attracted to him in the first place, if he did return; how would that bode with the two of them? Would it change her feelings towards Genji; maybe his towards hers...more so than it already has. In her time at the watch point, and through their time she’d slowly gained affection for the man. He was respectful, kind, considerate, funny and even chivalrous at times...but was that respect out of his gratitude for her; or similar to how she felt.

She’d laid out clues for him of course, small hints of how she felt. But he never reciprocated, just the same old Genji acting the same as he ever would with anyone else. She wouldn’t chase after something she couldn’t have, she’d keep trying. After all they had been separated for years and left on bad terms, what feelings could be there besides that which one has for a coworker.

Why leave your ex boyfriend to bleed out with nothing but a cotton rag to stop the bleeding.

Winston was far more idealistic than her, it reminded her of how she was just when she’d joined Overwatch. Young, brave, hopeful and certainly not naive to war. At the end of it all Ruben and her hadn’t been on great terms, but they could still share a decent amount of banter, hold a conversation and even a few jokes in private messages. She was the one that started him on testosterone therapy way back and sent him to one of the best cancer treatments in Europe when he left.

She’d like if Ruben came; just as long as he could prove he was here with good intentions. But as she said, she may be idealistic but she wasn’t naive. Why wouldn’t he have joined Talon after Reyes did, he wouldn’t see why Ruben wouldn’t have followed suit given the level of loyalty that spy had for the commander.

She brought the wheelie down by her desk, setting down her equipment with a small thud. She stretched out her back with a small concerning click in her waist; looking on at everything before leaving with a satisfied sigh. 

Ruben’s cowl laid there, dried blood and all in the darkness. Without its owner for the first time in years, stitched back together in some places. Somewhere far away in another corner of the world it’s owner held their sleeping bag close up to their neck to feel that same warmth that’s now overly lacking. Cold takes over him in more ways than one.

.o.

It had been a week since the mission in Florence had ended, debriefings and discussions on how it went and where to take what they learnt from it forward. The jury was still out on why they were there and naturally, the topic of Van Gogh was brought up at the end which came along in decision if they should leave it and consider recruiting. In the meantime Winston had been busy tackling the results from the last mission, they’d extracted some information from one of the soldiers but didn’t get the chance for more than a location. Baptiste may have been ex-talon but there was only so much he could do given how much they’d grown to this point without him. 

In the end it had been a failure, they hadn’t found the reason for them being there. No matter how much time he put into research, investigations and picking up on the faintest hints in intercepted messages and contacts. All of which would’ve been ten times easier if overwatch were at the height of its functionality. 

Much of the database had been swept through, findings, reports had been claimed by the United Nations and had been classified, corrupted or censored beyond belief. Information that could be potentially useful to Talons next move, resources that he desperately needed at this rate. Athena had accessed and rescued a few that had been undamaged, around fifty files. 

Around twenty of them had been written by Van Gogh, he’d taken over a majority of investigations into corrupt businesses and possible connections to the terrorist group after Gerad’s death. Speaking of the agent they’d made a fuss out the past few days; Angela got back to him with her findings.

It was hard, but she managed to determine that some small amounts of sediment had built up, alongside hair samples they matched his health records. It was without a doubt that Ruben Sanders was in Florence the day of their mission and had saved Genji’s life.

_ But didn’t stay. _

The last thought practically echoed in his mind like being in a tunnel, mumbling those words again on his lips just to reaffirm it. 

He took down what notes he could on paper and turned off the monitor for the first time in days just to get a break. “I’ll make sure to make copies of the reports soon, I might be able to decipher some of the censored ones given time.” Her icon flashed on the screen off to the side.

“Thank you Athena” he pinched the bridge of his snout, gently taking the glasses off his face and placing them on the table next to the peanut butter. “Why do you think Van did it”

“Did what?” her icon lit from its standby lighting.

“Leave Genji when he was wounded...I don’t get it it-...it just doesn’t make sense to me”

Athena made a soft electric humming sound, as if the advanced AI even had time to think about her answer. “Perhaps he didn’t want to be found maybe”

“Why though...” he said to himself rhetorically. 

“Or that he- no” Winston turned his head to the icon, hearing the hesitation in her voice. 

“Go on”

“If weapons were used in the area that he had previously been confirmed to be in that Talon uses, and their presence in Florence and Van leaving quickly...would it be a stretch to say that he was running from them? So this entire situation has been him hiding?”

Winston leant up slowly in realisation, the pieces of the puzzle beginning to fit together. Just complete enough that he can take shots and easily assume what comes next. But if it were true, it would mean that their leads were tarnished in terms of preventing further terror attacks. Every morning comes with the anxiety of seeing a new disaster unfolding with the death toll adding up in the bottom. All because he didn’t work hard enough.

“I guess we’re gonna have to discuss any retrieving operations in the meeting tomorrow, maybe even not I don’t know…alongside everything else...thank you Athena”

With a soft beep and an amused huff, “Get some sleep Winston” she sent out notifications as her icon turned to black. He settled in for the night, he’d think further on this in the morning in the meeting. Hopefully this will all be settled and he’ll come to a decision soon.

.o.   
  


With Genji still in an induced coma, it was difficult to say what action should be taken. It was vital that the team wasn’t distracted by something that could possibly either be due to Winston’s overactive imagination, or a trap.

A trap being most likely, he discussed the issue with a few of the original team members to gain their point of view. Winston had a tendency to get into his own mind too much, clouding his judgment. There were many things to consider in the situation. If Ruben even wanted to be found, that being the reason he didn’t answer just like so many others did. Or he did but had no way of contacting them. Angela looked as though she wanted to add something to the topic, squirming in her seat restlessly before they moved on.

Jesse of course was all for it, just as he had been insinuating ever since they returned from Florence. He said he’d go back to convince him to join the recall on his own if he had to. Kaine’s had a far more calm approach to the matter but agreed, she voiced Winston’s own thoughts to the group. Saying as much as they would want to hope that it could be simply done, it couldn’t be done easily and might possibly distract them from the task at hand. What if they did find him and he said no to coming back, it would’ve been a wasted journey and squandered resources. 

Torbjorn, Reinhardt and Tracer. Bringing up the fact that what if this was Ana, or Gabriel or any other number of friends that were lost and disconnected. 

It seemed that everyone wanted to, but that the possible risks were too much to greet head on without any headway. Kallista and Torb suggested trying to tap into his comm, seeing as it was assumed he still had it on him. 

There were old systems in place on Athena’s operating protocols, tracking agents through their comms was one of them and making sure that no other organisation or party could do the same unless they knew exactly what they were doing. It was the protocol that was sought after by Talon, breaking into the base while Winston just stopped them by the tip of his fur.

They tried it immediately once suggested, Torb bringing out a tablet and turning on the hologram above it whilst plugging in a small cable that connected to the mainframe. “Athena, being up comm locations” he said clearly to not confuse her with his thick Swedish accent. 

“Bringing it up now” she said, the hologram loading the names before everything was displayed. The group muttered amongst themselves as a large image of the globe came up, Torb scrolling through names with haste alphabetically. A few names were gone from the list, those confirmed dead or traitorous, such as Moira’s. Doubek looked on silently, he hadn’t raised his opinion on the matter though it was mostly understood he agreed with Mccree.

Until he got to V, “aha there you are” The engineer said to himself, his old profile there to see, suit and all for a glimpse before it was gone. “This is going to be difficult to figure out where the signal is hailing from” he said, putting the list on a tab as he connected his own comm.

“I think I’d be better at this than you” Kallista suggested, putting a hand over the computer. Torb relented, passing it to her as she got to work. “Let’s see” along the side bar she wrote down some code, implementing some of her own protocols and systems to most accurately track a broken transmitter 

It only took minutes for the infamously skilled hacker to nail down Van Gogh’s location. “There we go, got it” once she pressed the final key to execute, Athena loaded the data and the globe went still for a moment; the names disappearing. Before static came up and only one name on the entire globe showed. It zoomed in on what was displayed to be Italy, then along to the coast city of Livorno where his icon appeared along the shore.

“How do we know this is accurate?” Winston asked, the hacker leaned back with a huff; looking on to her work. She turned to him and shrugged,

“I’m ninety percent sure the data’s accurate. He’s got the comm still on him obviously but the transmitter is hard to get through since a lot of key components do seem to be damaged; or offline.” she explained in terms that most of them could understand. “Unless it’s showing old data and he’s moved on, but it won’t hurt to try and send a message through it; see what comes up.”

“That’s an idea? I say we go fer it. It’s only a few hours by jet” Jesse suggested, a few others nodding with him in agreement. It would’ve been a wholesome agreement, the meeting ready to come to a consensus when the local doctor of the base cleared her throat. The room went silent. 

“I don’t mean to be the black sheep, but I don’t think he should be allowed here” Angela voiced her opinion, one that dampened the mood of the room like water to fire. She let out a nervous smile and an even more anxious laugh as she looked around the room for anyone that agreed with her. They all swore they could hear a pin drop the moment she expressed how she felt.

“What do you mean?” Kallista asked, tilting her head in genuine curiosity. “I understand your concern but I’m assuring you that my programs are full proof”.

“It’s not that, it’s just...I’m sorry but-actually no I’m not. I don’t think it's a good idea. Too much can go wrong based on assumptions; it can’t be worth it for one person.”

“It was worth it for Hanzo, without him we’d still be chasin’ our own tails” Jesse responded with conviction, there was something else he wanted to say on the tip of his tongue. But decided to save it for later. Then the quiet member of the discussion spoke up “I agree” Doubek said in agreement with Jesse.

With that, the meeting was generally on a landslide consensus. Winston would send out a message to the comm signal and hope for a response. If not, they leave the subject at that and the subject of Ruben would be put to bed. If it were the case the scientist hoped Genji and some of the others would be content with that; but knowing him that would probably be too much to ask. 

Later a base wide meeting was called which everyone but Genji, discussing how they’d move forward with the current situation. Criminal movements, terror attacks and gang movements. There was some attention needed in Utopaea in India, there were rumours in the half slums, half metropolis that they could follow up on. 

The entire city was practically owned by Vishkar, the city left in poverty while beyond a large wall; lay floating skyscrapers and holograms galore. The pictures shown might as well of been from a science fiction movie.

Humanity had come a long way, so had South Asia for that matter. But what Vishkar and India as a whole had been able to achieve with hard light technology was astounding. Though of course, why would such delinquents like the recall be interested in them. The truth being that there was a very strong possibility that it had strong ties to Talon.

Finding evidence of this, and possibly even snuffing out the flame had become priority. At least until more leads came up to follow on. With new developments and new plans, things began to move forward on the base since Genji’s startling injury, and Van Gogh’s involvement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been a little late with this one, not that I ever set up a schedule for when I’d post these. My hope is at least once or twice a month give or take, or at least try to aim for that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Ruben hesitantly makes his way to Gibraltar, he thinks on his options, weighs them in his head and begins preparing himself for the almost imminent second meeting with Genji. He won’t admit it to himself, just as out of his own stubborn pride just how much he missed him.
> 
> Meanwhile, his old comm keeps him up at night.

Everytime the ex spy breathed in the evening air, he could taste the salt at the back of his throat; the fresh rushing air clearing his airway better than any ventilator could when he was in hospital all those years ago. So much had changed since then, he wouldn’t think he’d be jumping freight trains in the early hours to travel, in fact he didn’t think he’d ever be doing anything vaguely adventurous again. The very fact he was even here at all used to baffle him, confusing him even more than he already was.

He looked on to the coastline just in the distance, Rimini just above the horizon with farmland stretching for miles. He’d jumped the freight train in the morning, his jacket and boots tucked away in his bag since the weather at late dawn had been sunny. Leaving him in a black tank, jeans and simple dark brown heeled boots. Though lying in a dirty cart full of funituture, lying down with his legs dangling over the edge and bathing in the sun for hours did leave him looking a little red, but his freckles tended to react badly to him tanning 

He got up from where he was sitting, he’d placed his sleeping bag to use as a pillow against the hard metal floor. Carefully making his way to the opening door where the sun was coming through, grabbing on tightly to the rusted orange door handle; before he closed his eyes and let the rest of his body go loose. The sound of the reverb caused by the magnetic fixtures in the track that made it hover at almost twice the speed it would normally be; a sound he’d become used to after years or jumping trains. The sun was close to setting as it cast a brilliant orange across the empty sky. The cosy glow shining through his eyelids and warming his freckled skin; the smile on his lips just as rare as this moment.

It was as though the golden hour had made the air just that much sweeter, stretching his arm out as the wind wafted through his fingers like silk. It was moments like these that he tried to treasure; even when everything’s been turned upside-down, counter clockwise and sideways. 

That peace only lasted a minute or two when his broken comm vibrated in his bag pocket; interrupting him from singing a song to himself to drown out the railway. though it crackled and distorted due to the damage. He recognised the strong chill against his burn scar, covering it with his hand to warm it up and regulate it. The cowl he’d applied to Genji’s wounds and forgot to take back…now he wouldn’t ever get it back.

He backed up into the harsh shadows of the train car; making his way back to his bag in intentionally slow movements as he kneeled down. Propping the bag back up to dig out his old comm; with a sense of dread it’s screen was flashing in random bursts with what he recognised to be Athena’s symbol. He immediately reached up to turn it off into a hard shut down, before hesitating with a sigh. 

Ever since Genji, the small phone in his hand has been making noises at night, flashing symbols and now he can see Athena’s symbol clear as day on the screen. What if it was her? Or someone else lulling him into some kind of false sense of security. 

Everytime he heard the small chime, so quiet but loud simultaneously; there was nothing that he wanted more than to go back to Overwatch. Embrace those he loved, hear their voices instead of the echoes they left years before in his mind. He knew of the Re-Call, but at the time chose to ignore it given how impossible it was given his circumstances.

He’d rather everyone lived and remembered him for the way he was, future brimming with opportunities, his health, no mysterious entity attached to his soul and not to mention his appearance. It would be disappointing to them all, maybe even humiliating for him to see the looks on their faces. Jesse’s?, Rein’s?, Torb’s? Whoever else had decided to go back?

He plopped it back down on his bag with a small thud; standing back up to pace the car as he held his hands on his head with a groan. “It isn’t too late” he said to himself, half expecting Capheus to chime in, thankfully he replied with sweet silence. He pulled the tie out of his hair, letting it fall down his shoulders as he stressfully ran his fingers through it. He’d last cut it around two years ago, just leaving it to grow, he enjoyed playing with it and it did look quite nice on him.

Even though he should be absolutely going to the opposite side of the earth, the polar opposite of where he was going now...America?

The train went over a small bump, nudging him almost to the ground before he caught his footing. He looked out to see that they were quickly approaching the towns train yard, small though every hitchhiker knew that you had to jump for it before they came to a stop; unless you wanted to get caught that is.

“What is it with me and jumping off trains'' he chuckled to himself, picking up his bag and hoisting it over his back with ease. He went back over to where he was leaning over the side before, his hand along the side of the door; the sun now set along the horizon which cast the sky in a rich purple. He waited for the perfect moment where he could safely jump, finding it and with a deep breath; jumped out and landed unscathed on the dirt below. Far better than his previous attempt; he arched his back as he stood back up. He stood there for a moment, looking around to take in where he was as the train continued to whiz behind him. He pushed the loose hairs back over his ear as he began walking to the road.

He tapped his foot against the concrete road, turning to start making his way down the highway towards Rimini. But it didn’t take long before that familiar chill went up his spine and black hair lingered in his peripherals.

“I thought you didn’t want me seeing your friends” the entity walked alongside him, grey skin shining against the warm light; though when he looked down to the ground, no shadow was ever present. “This is an odd way of going about it”.

“What did you expect me to do? Let him die?” he replied, putting his hands on his bag straps frustratingly “He doesn’t deserve it...I shouldn’t have left my cowl” he could’ve gone west, toward Greece, or he could’ve gone south toward Naples. “If we can get east then maybe I can stay somewhere there for a while and take on some more jobs”.

“We? Did I hear that right?!” Capheus bellowed, rushing you to walk in front of him, turning around to walk backwards to keep pace. “We’re an we? Finally?!” Ruben rolled his eyes at how overjoyed he sounded. He fought against the smile that threatened his lip, otherwise it would make the teasing worse.

He wouldn’t admit that Capehus had begun to grow on him, “Don’t give your hopes up just yet” not just because he’s constantly there...by force. But there for him; despite his trauma with Talon, if Capheus wasn’t in his life he would’ve been dead years ago by his own hand. 

Capheus stopped him from ending it all every time he’s ever tried, he can’t tell whether he went insane years ago or whether he’s starting to feel like the spirit is just genuinely being a nice pers- thing. Whatever he was. He can easily get caught up in his small affections, forget how he got there and why he was running in the first place. 

“Sooo...does this mean I get my own bag?”

“Your own- why would you need a bag?”

“I don’t know...I could put things I like in it like-like…” he pointed to a rock on the side of the road. “Like that rock, that’s my rock now and I’ll put it in my bag. Oh wait. I don’t have one”. He said with a pout, going over to said rock; bending down to pick it up. Ruben stopped in his tracks just to see how this would go.

With a laser-like focus on his hands, the entity reached down while making this strange sound in his throat. As though interacting with the real world was equivalent to him heaving a five hundred pound barbell. Slowly putting his hand around the side and picking it up with his fingers. “What a beautiful rock, see? My rock” he held it in his hands. 

“I can just hold it for yo-“ Ruben reached out to hold it for him seeing how much he struggled just to prove a point. He jumped away in exaggerated shock, accidentally dropping the small concrete piece to the ground. Ruben stared down at it with patience. “...if it means that much I can just have it in my bag, or I could just get you something nicer”. As overstated his sadness was, there was some truth to it. Being in view of the world around him but having no way of interacting with it without expelling massive amounts of energy must’ve been frustrating; depressing even.

“I’ve done more with less, I think” he retorted, giving up on trying to exert himself to pick it up again. “Grass is pretty malleable...so is dust but you get bored easily” with that last sentence, he fades back to nothing; all but spent for now. He’d used up all his power picking up a small rock.

Ever since his fight with that man in Florence, he had to call on Capheus’s help. Using his body for a short time to exact his will; only he went on for five minutes. Leaving them both dry heaving and weak. Whilst in that state, it came with incredible strength, telepathy and telekinesis. However, Ruben himself is entirely unconscious in this; as if his very soul had been put on the back burner for Capheus to play around with his body as he pleased. He hoped he wouldn’t have to fight that tall man again, or come across him again any time soon. 

Not to mention the horrible feeling that lasted in his chest when the entity would leave, a crude, rotten pulling sensation in his chest that left him half incapacitated. His appearance changed with it, dawning glowing marking across his body, eyes turned to a dark purple with specks of light peeking through. The markings were hot and charged; just above his skin as though they were floating; tethered by something that wasn’t his body.

It’s those minutes he spends unconscious under Capheus’s control that terrify him the most; and how he gains that power in the first place to achieve such feats. In the first year he was constantly left exhausted and tired from the entity not knowing how to take up Ruben’s own spiritual energy properly. It took awhile for him to perfect taking only what he needed from him, leaving him feeling better though constantly a little drouzed. Spending his time constantly sleepy is better than seeing the mess left behind when he’d had his fill on a mercenary sent after him.

The body was almost like a fruit that had been left in the sun for days, it had stunned him at first, guilt had built up in his stomach at how rejuvenated he felt by proxy. Everything about the body just felt...empty, cold and hollow of anything but Capheus’s handiwork. Ever since then he asked him never to do that again, only when there was absolutely no other option and they’re on the verge of death.

When he took that factor, and mixed it with the rest of his team. Not to mention Genji having his own spirit...he remembers Soba fondly; he’d cuddle in between Genji and him in the night. Though his power was potently electric. Even touching him when he was small enough to be a dog, you could feel that small buzz on his radiant scales. If he chose to go back to Gibraltar; the re-call there, Genji and Soba included. He hated leaving him there to bleed out in the alleyway; but it was the only option he had. Capheus inspecting his arm and smelling Soba’s energy nestled deep within his body. 

He’d reached for his arm and pulled him back, desperately wanting to stay there with him. He could feel Capheus’s hunger on his own throat, thirsty and that deep craving that continuously ate away at his will. So potent and concentrated, blindly overwhelming to resist. He watched from afar on a rooftop, holding the spirit back through pure force of determination. Watching as Mercy attended to him, Jesse picking him up as they ran off; his cowl held tightly against his back.

He couldn’t help but let out a small whine as he walked, feeling the deep burn on his neck in melancholy to his cowl. As sad as he was that it was gone, it made him glad that in hindsight it also acted as an indisputable way that he was alive to the rest of the team.

A part of him had kept him safe, kept him warm when he couldn’t…Genji better be okay. He was both still angry at him for what he did, but also wanted to see him safe and warm with their friends; maybe something more. He scoffed at the idea, shaking his head in denial with a smile on his lips. 

If Overwatch had been in the same place he had been when Talon almost detonated that bomb in the Cathedral; thousands of people had been saved that day and the news showed that glory. Praising the mysterious heroes of the hour who were unknown, he wondered if Ana had found her way back to Overwatch or not.

When he’d last seen her she’d been on her way to Cairo, she was honest with him, spending time with her and travelling with her was refreshing. It reminded him of the bigger picture at play, that there were people still fighting against corruption. That Blackwatch, everything had been real and it wasn’t just his imagination trying to spin a story for him to keep him entertained. That there was still a reason for his suffering, a bigger reason. 

After a close encounter, she became the only person he trusted who knew the truth about Capheus. He had wanted to save it for a better time, considering it and dwelling on it.. But sipping at the tea she’d made for them both after the fight, calm and quietly respecting the silence. It overjoyed him inside to find that her knowledge about him didn’t poison their friendship. He was glad that she understood one of his secrets at least, he’d only told her the minimum of the situation; intentionally leaving his addiction issues out of his confession. 

There was something she said to him that had stuck with him since they last spoke. “Whatever your decision will be, I’ll support you and I’m sure everyone else will too.”

It didn’t take long for him to reach the town; looking on to the architecture of the surrounding buildings as he entered the shadow of a tall building; crossing over a small bridge than ran over a canal. To everyone else he just looked like another tourist, a traveller looking for the next ride to the next town. But for right now he really wouldn’t have minded grabbing some food or maybe looking up some places to stay.

Eventually he looked up from where he was walking; finding himself in its town centre. Looking up to a wooden pole that connected phone lines and power cables, but at the halfway point was a camera pointed in his direction. He kept his gaze away from it, he didn’t want to take that risk that the camera operated through WiFi.

He could feel his comm vibrating again through his backpack against his back, groaning as he entered a shadow and looked up to one of the signs written in Italian. The midday sun had almost partially blinded him, his sunglasses nestled away in his bag. He could understand a few words; the hotel symbol universal to anyone as it directed him down a street with people. 

The cobblestone street, the people, the smell of food and deliciously oily foods hung in the air like an aroma. He approached one of the vendors, buying something that had fried fish in it that had been nestled inside a cone. 

He stopped outside the double doors of a modest three star hostel; the sign along the outside was crusted and sun bleached along the font of its name; the rest was simply dirty. It was better than a homeless shelter or even worse, the streets. As he walked through the doors, a small fan above the entrance that provided air conditioning chilled the room. His warm skin relished against the breeze, he would’ve let out a sigh in relief if it weren't for the receptionist. 

Once he’d signed up for a room, paid in cash what was owed and collected the key of the counter with a smile and thank you. He adjusted the hold on his bag and made his way up the stairs, groaning when it became clear that the conditioning only functioned in the reception. He scratched as the bag of his head; a few hairs sticking to his hand and coming loose. Ruben quickly unlocked his door, walking through and closing it behind him; just taking a glance at his room before locking the door behind him, placing the fish on the bedside table and collapsing on the bed with his bag on the floor. The sun had set completely some point on his journey up the stairs; but if the weather last night was any kind of omen. Tonight would be humid to the point he’d start to liquify from the inside. “Jesus,” he mumbled into the cotton bed sheets.

He hated the rough texture against his cheek and arms; but he was so exhausted that he’d settle with anything that wasn’t wooden floorboards. Then again he’d once slept on hard concrete...once was enough. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to think about unpacking and taking a shower later.

He reached a point between sleep and lucidity, the sound of birds and the city a constant just outside his window. People packing away their vendor shops, shopkeepers closing for the night and locking up before they head home. The air before had a warmth when breathed in, though a noticeable chill had taken place as night began. The sounds of music and the thump of the beats in a nightclub down the road...no wonder this hotel had been so cheap. His mind wandered as his feet dangled off the bed; nudging gently to the beat.

Memories with the consistency of smoke or wine flooded his consciousness, dancing the night away with his friends, his comrades and a few boyfriends. Every experience melted into a single thought, collectively culminating towards a feeling of weightlessness, a melancholic excitement in his throat, something imminent, coming.

A new feeling bloomed, arising slowly against his tongue before he could even express it. Pressure against his chest, not uncomfortable, neither soothing, but more…, more snesual. His mind's eye tried placing whose hands scoured with such interest. He couldn’t place or see them, only the feeling of who those hands were associated with.

They had moved from his chest, separating until one was at his waist; gently groping him whilst it’s partner had gone further down. Reaching down without confirmation but his own.

A soft moan escaped his lips, so deep in the fantasy that his whine might as well have been heard by the figure; encouraging, luring him in for more. Far more.

More...

For his own sake he pushed himself back up, sluggishly nudged himself off the bed with his knee; walking over to the night stand where he pulled against the small beaded thread. His eyes winced against the light that flooded the room as he went for his bag. Digging around to find his wash bag so he could take a shower, his hand nudged against a smaller black box; he grabbed it but didn’t move; questioning himself...it had been a while since he’d gotten off using it...as he brought out his washbag, that intense chiming from his communicator came back to life startling him out of his skin. 

Each time the sound became more clear, as though the comm itself was repairing itself despite the cracks along the outside. His sleep-addled brain begged him to turn it off; each chime worse than the last. Washbag in hand, he grabbed the comm, staring down at the glowing screen fiercely as he turned it off once and for all, letting flop back down to the bed. Going into the bathroom down the small hallway that led to the door; the light flickering on.

He hadn’t managed to get very dirty in the last few days, only a small amount of grime fell off him as he watched it flow down the drain. He set the water to a chilly temperature to refresh him, a pleased humm leaving his throat. Working the shampoo through his hair; scrubbing it until it lathered up, avoiding or being as gentle as he could muster over the areas still bruised from his fight.

As he swept back his bang into the soapy mix, it reminded him of how bristly it felt when he had to shave it off for chemo. That part of his life felt like another life, another person who he didn’t know. It was heartbreaking for him, of course it would be for anyone. As some kind of act of rebellion and his own interest in the style, he didn’t cut it back one day or trim it. Letting it grow past his ears, then his shoulders, then his tips of his shoulder blades.

He could give that reason, but it also did come with the added benefit that old pictures of him wouldn’t work with facial recognition software installed in most modern cameras.

But for now he truly didn’t care about the logistical benefits of his hair, his forehead met the damp wall; picking up the soap bar from the railing as he rubbed it across his back. He could choose to ignore the ache between his legs; how could he when Capheus could just appear at any moment.

By that point he’d already reached down, keeping an ear out and an eye in case he appeared like he sometimes does randomly. He tested the waters to see if he really wanted to go through the hassle of preparing for it. Enjoying the moment as he felt small jolts of euphoria enter his system. 

His imagination wasn’t centred on anything specific, just easing himself into the pleasure before he started anything that would require more stretch from his end. He kept his eyes forward, unfocused on the cold damp wall. As a fully transitioned trans man, he was pleased with what his body was, though dating was difficult as a gay man; hoping to date other gay men. He wouldn’t get a surgery he didn’t want just to suit what cis people expected from him. So he got top surgery but left everything below well enough alone. 

He groaned in frustration as his mind smoothly made its way to Genji. He cast the image of that prick out of his head as quickly as it came, switching to some nameless and faceless one night stand from years before.

He spread his legs further apart for balance and bent his back, the hot water running onto his back until he couldn’t even feel it’s warmth; just the presence and the dull ache of his bruises. He let his hair hang down the sides of his face. “Hmm..” he hummed when he hit a certain level of heat, adjusting his footing so he didn’t slip.

The desire that crowded his thoughts, one that few knew; was that pulling his hair, pushing him against the wall, holding him so hard he’d see stars, biting… 

It was once the water started to run cold that he stopped and quickly made it to finish his wash. He squirted some conditioner into his hands and lathered it into his hair, if he really was going to see old friends he wanted to look like he wasn’t homeless. He loved how he could simply just run his fingers through it with ease, rubbing it in for full coverage.

As he got out to get dry, the more his nethers begged him to continue where he’d left off, a feeling resembling an ache as he went without any stimulation for longer and longer. Drying off became a race soon enough.. 

Once he left the bathroom he was already kneeling to his bag to grab the small black box he kept inside; one that only had one purpose. One would think that having a toy in your bag of essentials wasn't very essential. But once you’ve lived rough for at least 3 years, you eventually forget things like that and just...do things.

He took the lid off to find a well taken care off toy sitting inside; grabbing it, checking for battery life by turning it on and turning the vial to wait for the buzz. He hoped Capheus didn’t appear in the thick of him touching himself, so for that possibility; he went under the covers just in case.

.o.

He relaxed against the pillow, sighing softly from his nose once the haze had cleared from his mind. The brunt of truth coming to him slowly that he shouldn’t have fantasised what he had gotten off to.

There was a reason they broke up on such bad terms, the last he’d seen of genji before now had been his back turned to him as he begged him to stay from a hospital bed.

When he needed the cyborg most, more than he’d ever needed anyone in his whole life. He turned his back and walked away, he knew how hard it was for him to ask for help, how much he needed that same support he’d always given to him. But that when it came down to it. Genji Shimada was a black hole, a miserable little boy who just took and took his affections and consumed them. 

The image of his back turned to him as he walked out the medbay door had seared and branded itself into his mind just as hot as a white hot iron brand would’ve been. The metal piercing into his skin and leaving a deep scar that would never fully heal.

It was watching everything he’d ever worked for crumbling around him as he got wheeled onto a transport to the Netherlands...at night in the hospital hooked up to all kinds of machines fighting to keep him alive and the sickness at bay. He’d wail and sob until his eyes were puffy the next morning, he’d never felt so alone. He waited and waited for a call, a visitor, or maybe even a letter. But it never came, just legal bullshit that made him cry even harder because seeing the overwatch insignia gave him such hope.

And then of course just when you think things can’t get worse. Gabriel Reyes dies.

“Pathetic huh?” He hushed to himself, wrapping his elbow over his face in shame, clutching the beds sheets into a fist. 

He thought when he got back from being found on the side of the road near Numbani was when he broke. But in truth, it was when he saw the Swiss base in flames on the holovid. No words that held the crushing, breaking weight could ever come close to how he felt. 

That’s why he couldn’t care less if Genji was alright or not. Seeing as Genji couldn’t care less if he was even still alive.

He remembered how Angela had taken extra care of him when they found him, holding him in such a way that he thought was endearing rather than professional, even further that it was akin to the care you’d give to a significant other.

Good for him, but bad for Angela.

Once he’d leaned up, legs shaky and unsteady; he travelled over to the bathroom to wash it where it would go back in its container for when he’d next use it. 

As he washed over it, lathering it up with soup and hot water he caught sight of a few bruises around his chest from his fight in Florence. He stared at it through the mirror for a moment, arching his neck slightly to get a better view. The edges were deep shades of green and red while the inner post point was purple to black. He put the silicone in the sink as he turned around to get a view of his back, moving his arm to the side to adjust. Humming in thought when he saw just how dark some of the bruises remained to be. 

At some point in the fight the Talon agent had torn a chunk out of the ground and some parts of the shrouding building. Then launched them toward him, he almost dodged out of the way but it didn’t stop debris from hitting him. He reached to touch the one just under his shoulder blade, pressing down gently to find only a small, duller pain. If he’d fought him only a few years ago, he probably would’ve been seriously injured. Luckily he was better than he was and gained some of what he’d lost back; after some talks with Ana of course. 

Genji had a far more severe wound on his back if he recalled, he couldn’t exactly say where the hole was; just that there was too much blood to begin to comprehend. He’d been so caught up in diving into Genji’s eyes that he almost missed the red glint of Widowmakers headset; spider like and a frightening omen to certain death; just as her name implied. He didn’t even think when he jumped to save him, grabbing a smoke canister from his belt to mask their escape. 

The thought that if he hadn’t seen her, Genji...the image of what could’ve happened made him wince. Just in case, he applied some cream to a few of the scabs that had developed. Even though it pained him to think of it, he was glad that Overwatch came and made the most perfect cover possible for him to escape.

The entire ordeal would be best described like a pot of soup that had been left cold on the hob, left to rot and the thicker ingredients to settle the bottom. Until someone turned it back on, the boiling letting all kinds of rancid and grotesque smells come up. 

When he returned back to the room, shirt hanging off his shoulder, his hair left to tangle from the towel dry earlier. He caught sight of the food he bought of the vendor an hour earlier, now cold. He groaned in frustration and rolled his eyes, picking it up and eating it anyway.

A thought entered his brain as he stood there, picking at the deflated and sad looking food; that perhaps a small trip to a shop was in order. He dwelled on it before returning to the bathroom and drying off his item; walking to putting it back into its box, then bagging it and sealing it up. It was there he looked at the comm on his bed, realising it hadn’t gone off in a long time. He stared at it, almost scared to turn on the screen in case he saw something he’d regret.

He got dressed into different clothes than what he had been wearing, tossing the towel on the rails in the bathroom, making a mental list in his head of everything he had to do. Buy some food, laundromat and maybe something else if he still had time. He sat on the bed as he tied his shoelaces with the same shoes he wore the entire day. His feet had grown used to the constant use that a little more walking wouldn’t hurt him.

With a final check, his wrist bow under his jacket that now had its sleeve zipped on, he left his hotel room with some pocket change. He decided it was best to leave his bag, he trusted that it was too soon for him to get jumped and of worst came to worst. He was prepared. 

Just as he was about to leave, his hand stopped over the handle, hesitation trembling in his fingers. He turned his head back to his room, then down to his bed where the comm still laid. If what he thought was true and it was functional again, it would be best if he had it on him in case someone decided to snoop. He went back and picked it up from where it lay, staring down at the screen, a small button illuminated on its screen. 

He tested the swiping motion, seeing it in perfect use...he has the strong urge to throw it against the wall. Hesitantly, he anxiously opened up the comm against his own logical sense. Once he did, all the icons showed up as if nothing had changed and it had never been broken. The only tell it had ever been was the giant crack in its side. As though he had been stung, he turned it off and stuck it into his jacket pocket.

He locked his door behind it after he grabbed his wallet and a smaller tote bag from his travelling bag, jogging down the stairs when he realised that the elevator smelt like urine. There was no one at the reception desk, just a cleaner in the corner scrubbing the floor with a mop. He gave a small smile before heading out into the night; his head felt cold from how his hair was still slightly wet. He purposefully left it down, the hair band around his free wrist that wasn’t occupied by the hidden weapon.

He would’ve brought a small bag with him if he owned one, there wasn’t much he needed anywho. He scanned the streets for anything that looked similar to a co-op, mentally plotting out what he’d buy with what money he had. Years before when his identity had been discovered after so much work to preserve the new life he’d built for himself. Thousands of euros he’d earned at blackwatch and jobs after had been indefinitely frozen by the government. He had money physically incase but said the account had a double encryption and wasn’t even under his real name; yet they still took it away.

As he looked up to the floodlights above, he could see the thin strips of vapour trails that followed, watching them fade into nothing as well as the red blinking lights that preceded them.

He passed around a block, finding the source to the club music he’d heard earlier. He kept his pace slow; letting his shoulders relax back down from where they’d been stiffened. The lights in the shops were just as bright as they would’ve been in the daytime, eyes trained to the signs and the store lights. He eventually found a shop nearby that was still open, he winced his eyes slightly at the harsh lighting above and scanned the ceiling for cameras. After spotting one he tried avoiding looking directly into it.

He scanned the isle for something simple, he counted in his head just how much money he could spend. “keep it under eight euros” he quietly assured himself as he grabbed a packet of crisps, a sandwich, a drink and because he was tempted, some chocolate.

Once he got back to his hotel, he nibbled at the chocolate he’d gotten earlier to sate his sweet tooth. He spent the night coordinating his journey ahead, slouched down with a map on his bed as he absently minded lay chewed on his thumb nail. Hesitantly making plans to make his way east to Croatia. As far away from the fighting as possible...of course.

Eventually he did fall asleep, late into the night when the club music outside had long ceased. When all sound had left and the world had almost become a vacuum around the two travellers. 

But if you listen closely enough, focus the smallest, most minuscule sound, more quiet than a heartbeat. You could increasingly faintly hear the sound of jet planes in the sky, so high in the atmosphere that they skim space.

The completely inaudible sound of Tracer turning the gear stick to the left; pure unclouded sunlight cast on one side of her face as he sipped at the coffee she’d prepared for the journey. The few agents that came, Winston, Jesse, Reinhardt and Echo were either asleep or almost so. Echo however, being an omnic, stayed in the cockpit to keep her company and take over for her if it became too much.

However, Lena was certain to fly on her own for now, at least while coming in. Despite the omnic knowing how to fly, she was still learning to from the pilot. It still surprises her to see how she learns and copies from others. Liao would’ve been proud of what she’s accomplished; what she will accomplish hopefully..

She looked down to the trackpad installed into the screen. They were closing in on they’re destination soon enough, she would adjust her trajectory in a few minutes and make the announcement, they would soon start to descend “bring him home safe guys”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Henlooo! I’ve kept a lot of you waiting with this chapter and I’m so sorry, but university just started as I began making final touches to the chapter. I’ve been working on and off on this for a while and I’m really hoping I can work on it some more; writing really is just something I can do that isn’t related to anything else; I can improve in my own time and stuff. Art is my focus, but writing is my hobby. First and foremost.
> 
> Also! This is my first time ever publishing smut or any kind of nsfw in writing, do tell me if you have any pointers on where I can improve.
> 
> My tumblr handle- callmevangogh  
> My twitter handle- spratzy

**Author's Note:**

> After a whole year of casually writing more into this fic, I’ve finally come around for it to be posted properly. As of right now it’s still incomplete since I like to post work that’s complete. But as this is going to be taking a while and this will actually push me to write; I’ll post the chapters I’ve written now. Thank you for everyone’s support!
> 
> My tumblr handle- callmevangogh  
> My twitter handle- spratzy


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